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Coming to the Stage

Larry King Now

Bob the Butler

Tom Green Live


            Nice guy John Plummer (Jason Lee) is engaged to ditsy Elaine Warner (Leslie Mann), and intends to use his life savings of $30,000 to put a down payment on a house because he does not want to accept money from her wealthy father, Mr. Warner (Dennis Farina), who is also John's employer and who already considers John unworthy of his daughter. Warner also has a mean dog named Rex who hates John and always agrees with his master. Simultaneously, his niece Noreen (Tammy Blanchard), daughter of John's "trailer-trash" sister, Patty (Megan Mullally), is accepted to Harvard University, but needs an additional $30,000 on top of her grants and scholarships in order to attend. Noreen shows her uncle John a videotape made many years ago, at which time he promised to pay for Noreen's college education when the time came if she were to work hard and be accepted to a university. John now has a moral and financial dilemmadisappoint his fiancée and prove her father right by showing that he cannot provide for Elaine, or disappoint his niece, sister, and her friends, who all look up to him, and take away his niece's only chance to escape from a life of lower-class poverty.John's best friend from high school, who was severely picked on and cried all the time, was an eccentric loser landscaper Walter "Duff" Duffy (Tom Green) tells John that one of his rich landscaping clients keeps large amounts of cash in an unlocked safe, and that no one is ever in the home on Sunday nights. Duff convinces John, who is bitterly opposed to the idea, that stealing from the homeowner would be okay, because no one would be hurt and the insurance company, which "deserve to be ripped off", would reimburse him. John reluctantly agrees, and he and Duff set out to steal the cash, but Duff runs off when lights come on in the home, leaving John staring down the barrel of the homeowner, Honorable Emmett Cook (Richard Jenkins)'s gun.Rather than being shot or turned over to the police, John instead finds himself forced at gunpoint to cross-dress and role-play the part of Cook's late wife as the two men lie in bed and "spoon". Eventually, after taking an incriminating photograph of John, one of many identical photos Cook keeps in an album while explaining to John that he is "not gay, I just miss my wife", Cook releases him. As he is leaving, Mr. Warner and his dog are riding by, and takes note of John's panicked behavior, believing that he has caught John in an affair which will be evidence he can use to persuade his daughter to call off the wedding.Further capers ensue as John and Duff attempt to rob a liquor store and later attempt to con a drug lord out of $30,000 by concocting a phony story about running an ecstasy ring. Meanwhile, a police detective (John C. McGinley) is on to John and Duff, but never has enough evidence to actually pin any of the crimes on them.Meanwhile, Mr. Warner breaks into the gun-toting Emmett Cook's house in order to get evidence against John, and once Cook catches him, he is also forced to "spoon". Before leaving, Warner finds the incriminating photo of John from the album in hand.Eventually, John is forced to confess everything to his fiancée, after her father confronts her with a photograph of John in drag with Cook. Not only is the fiancée not upset with John, but she now respects and admires him far more for the lengths he was willing to go to in order to provide for her, spare her feelings and send his niece to Harvard. The fiancée Elaine then confides in John that her wealthy father keeps a great deal of money at his business, and that it would be easy for them to steal it. John, Elaine, and Duff set out to rob the business in the night. Unfortunately, Mr. Warner had hid his dog Rex inside the vault. Rex attempts to attack Duff by biting him in the crotch but Rex is instead aroused and does not let go. Duff manages to get the lovestruck dog into a room, so he can try to break a window it make it look like a break in. Duff frantically tries to break a window (with Rex miserably watching while he tries to break out of the room in which he is trapped). The window will not break and Rex, yearning for Duff, finally escapes the room and jumps on top of Duff. Just as John and Elaine find the money, Mr. Warner finds them and tries to attack them but he is caught by the Detective who mistakes him for a burglar.John and Elaine escape to Duff's van but Duff is still being chased by Rex and has to jump inside the van but Rex follows them and finally has his way with Duff since there is nowhere else to run. The police arrive and the gang unsuccessfully tries to get away. They are all taken into custody by the detective and facing a series of charges including breaking and entering, animal cruelty, attempted vehicular manslaughter, (thanks to Duff selling him out), John feels like his goose is cooked, until the judge in charge of his arraignment turns out to be the gun-toting, Emmett Cook.Upon their mutual recognition, John writes, in his lawyer's notebook, a message to Cook and flashes it across the court, threatening to expose the judge's fetishupon reading the makeshift sign, Cook quickly dismisses all charges against John. Finally, Duff comes through as best he can and gives John his life savings, $1,000, which John bets on a longshot horse which wins and which paid 30 to 1. John and Elaine are married with Mr. Warner, Patty, Emmett Cook, and Duff among their wedding guests, Noreen goes off to college, and, in the final scene, John is left to ponder how loser Duff could possibly accumulate $1,000. The last scene shows Duff offering to "spoon" with Cook for $1,000.
    

Stealing Harvard

Bethany


            Unemployed 28-year-old cartoonist Gordon "Gord" Brody leaves his parents' home in Portland, Oregon, to pursue his lifelong ambition of obtaining a contract for an animated television series. His parents give him a car in which he drives to Los Angeles and starts work at a cheese sandwich factory. Gord shows his drawings to Dave Davidson, the CEO of a major animation studio; Davidson tells him that the artwork is really good, but that the concepts depicted, including a vigilante "X-Ray Cat", are nonsensical. Disheartened, Gord quits his job and returns to his parents.Gord's father Jim constantly insults and belittles him following his return, telling him to forget about being an animator and "get a job". When Gord pressures his friend Darren into skating on a wooden half-pipe he has built outside the Brody home, Darren falls and breaks his leg. At the hospital, Gord impersonates a doctor, delivers a baby, and meets an attractive nurse named Betty, who uses a wheelchair, has an obsessive penchant for fellatio, and wants to create a rocket-powered wheelchair. Gord lies to Jim that he has got a job and goes out to a restaurant with Betty, pretending he is at work. However, Jim sees him there, and also disparages Betty due to her disabilities. After a fight in the restaurant, Gord is arrested and bailed out by Betty. Following her advice, Gord attempts to continue drawing, however he gets into an argument with Jim, who then smashes Gord's half-pipe. Gord and his parents then go to a family therapy session, where Gord falsely accuses Jim of "fingering" Gord's younger brother, Freddy. The 25-year-old Freddy is sent to a home for sexually molested children while Gord's mother Julie leaves Jim, and ends up dating the basketball player Shaquille O'Neal. While in a drunken stupor, Jim tells Gord how much of a disappointment he is to him. Affected by Jim's words, Gord decides to abandon his aspirations to be a cartoonist and gets a job at a local sandwich shop.After seeing a television news report on Betty's successful rocket-powered wheelchair, Gord is inspired to pursue his dreams once again. He returns to Hollywood with a concept based on his relationship with his father: an animated series called Zebras in America. Jim follows him there after threatening Darren into revealing where he had gone. While Gord is pitching the show to Davidson, Jim bursts in and trashes Davidson's office. Thinking Jim's actions are part of Gord's pitch, Davidson greenlights Zebras in America and gives Gord a million-dollar check. Gord spends a quarter of that money on an elaborate thank you to Betty for inspiring him, and the remainder to relocate the Brody house to Pakistan with his father inside, unconscious - a response to Jim's earlier put-down that "If this were Pakistan, you would have been sewing soccer balls when you were four years old!"Gord and Jim soon come to terms, but are then abducted and held hostage. The kidnapping becomes a news item, as Gord's series has already become popular. After 18 months in captivity, Gord and Jim return to America, where a huge crowd, including Betty, welcomes them home.
    

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