
            A series of six episodes that takes place in a different house every week, which are always No.9. These include a stately home where a sinister game of sardines is taking place, a flat above a shop where a friendly sort of man meets his polar opposite, a dressing room for a theatre holding a producing of the supposedly cursed Macbeth, an apartment where a group of friends discover a priceless relic and a modern house where a bungled burglary is happening. Each story contains elements of both comedy, and horror, in the style of an anthology series.
    

Inside No. 9


            
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The League of Gentlemen

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Whitechapel

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            Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) wins a raffle and claims his prize a holiday involving a train journey to Cannes, a Sony Handycam DCR-HC96, and 200. Bean proceeds to film his trip to the French Riviera beach on the video camera.On the train, Bean buys some coffee. Bean arrives in Paris, France where accidentally taking a taxi from the Gare du Nord railway station to the arch at La Defense in Paris, Bean is forced to make his way on foot with the help of compass, literally walking through Paris (with disastrous effects) towards Gare de Lyon from La Défense to board his next train towards Cannes. He misses his train when his tie gets stuck while trying to buy a sandwich from a vending machine. Discovering that a back-up train won't be leaving for another hour, he has time to try some French food at Le Train Bleu restaurant. Unable to communicate with the waiter in French and misunderstanding his suggestion, he accidentally orders oysters and langoustines, disgusting the taste of oysters. He pours the oysters into a nearby lady's handbag and eats a whole langoustine without removing the shell. He quickly escapes when the lady sees the oysters inside her bag.Back on the platform, Bean asks a man, who happens to be a Cannes Film Festival jury member and Russian movie critic Emil Dachevsky (Karel Roden), to use his camcorder to film his walking onto the train. By the time they are done, the TGV is about to leave. Although Bean manages to get onto the train, the doors close before Emil can get on. Emil told Bean to open the door but there is no button and then helplessly films Emil while running. Emil's son, Stepan Dachevsky (Max Baldry) is left on board by himself. Bean attempts to befriend Stepan, who gets off at the next stop to meet his father. While confronting a threatening stranger who approaches Stepan, Bean accidentally misses the train's departure, losing his bag aboard. The train that Stepan's father has boarded does not stop at the station, and he holds up a mobile number which reads 0608080797, but the last two digits are covered by his fingers. Bean and Stepan write down the possible numbers, but their first three attempts of calling Stepan's father prove fruitless. They end up calling a hairdresser, an undertaker, and a two-year-old kid. They board the next train, accidentally leaving Bean's ticket, passport and money behind which results in the duo being forced off the train at the next stop. They ask a lady for money to try and contact Stepan's father, but still, they are unable to reach him. Ironically, they end up contacting a maid who is cleaning Stepan's parents' hotel room. Then, a security camera takes a picture of Bean making a fake evil face. The station master sees Bean and Stepan trying to get money out of some public phones and chases them out of the station, suspecting them as vandals.Feeling hungry and low on money, Bean and Stepan decide to attempt at busking by miming to Puccini's O mio babbino caro (sung by Rita Streich) and other music and it proves successful. Afterwards, Bean buys two bus tickets to Cannes, and some food to eat on the way, but loses his ticket when it gets caught in the breeze and then snagged in the talon of a chicken, which is subsequently loaded into a farm pick-up. Bean steals a nearby bicycle and follows the pick-up, and passes a bicycle race in the process. When he reaches the farm, he finds a large chicken pen with thousands of chickens and realizes that he'll never find the ticket. As he leaves the farm, he finds the bicycle destroyed by a passing tank. Bean attempts to hitch a ride on a moped, but it wouldn't go since it couldn't hold two people. Ironically, a VW van with Stepan in it passes by when Bean accidentally locks himself in an old outhouse by the side of the road. After almost getting killed by a passing truck when he has managed to move the outhouse out on the road, Bean sets off for a place to settle for the night.Bean wakes up the next morning to see German World War II soldiers attacking a village he was sleeping in. Eventually he realizes that the village that he was in was used as a set for a commercial, which is being directed by Carson Clay (Willem Dafoe). Carson joins Bean as a soldier but it is fired when Carson sees Bean's camera attached on a rifle. When Bean's video camera battery dies, he decides to recharge it, but accidentally blows up the set afterwards, injuring Carson and losing his hat.Hitchhiking, Bean is picked up by actress Sabine (Emma de Caunes), whom Bean encountered at the commercial filming, driving the same type of car as Bean. She is on her way to the 59th Cannes Film Festival where Carson Clay's new film, in which she makes her debut, is going to be presented. When they stop at a petrol station, Bean finds Stepan in its café. Continuing to drive to Cannes, Bean finds Sabine's cell phone, which gives him an idea to try and contact Stepan's father, but yet again, they still are unable to reach him. They end up calling a man who accidentally drops his phone in a urinal, a man who commits suicide by jumping off a bridge (after he broke up with his lover) and even the waiter from the Le Train Bleu restaurant. When Sabine falls asleep behind the steering wheel that night, Bean takes over the driving but struggles to stay awake himself. The next morning they finally reach Cannes.When Sabine goes into a petrol station to change for the premiere, she watches TV news depicting Bean as Stepan's kidnapper and Sabine as an accomplice. The news anchor also informs that road blocks have been set up all over France, trying to catch them. There were even wanted posters with Bean on them. In order not to get caught before they reach the premiere venue, Stepan dresses up as Sabine's daughter, while Bean dresses up as Sabine's mother. They manage to get past the police and Sabine arrives at the premiere on time.The three sneak into the premiere of "Playback Time", a shameless vanity production written by, produced by, directed by, and starring Carson himself. From the first few moments, the audience is horribly bored. Sabine tells Bean that her big scene is coming up, but is disappointed to see that her role has been cut from the film. Seeing that Carson uses a similar video camera as him, and hoping to cheer up Sabine, Bean goes to the projection room and plugs his camera into the projector. The ensuing scenes, heavily featuring Sabine and Bean, fit Carson's narration. When Bean, chased by security guards, ends up on stage while his video is being played, Emil sees footage of his son, where the film ends, and claims that Bean has kidnapped him. But just as Bean is about to be arrested (Bean starts to run on the backs of the chairs as Roberto Benigni in the 71st Academy Awards when his film Life Is Beautiful won) Stepan also appears from behind the screen and is finally reunited with his father. The audience gives a standing ovation for what they believe to be part of Carson's movie. Carson's initial anger fades and he embraces Bean and takes credit for the film's success.After the screening, Bean picks up his camera, leaves the building and finally arrives at the beach, encountering many of the other characters including Sabine and Stepan. The film ends with Bean and the whole cast miming Charles Trenet's famous song "La Mer".In a post-credits scene, Bean writes "FIN" on the wet sand using his foot. He films it until the sea washes the words away and the screen cuts to black as his camera's battery dies again.
    

Steve Pemberton

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