
            In Hamburg, West Germany, American security consultant Joe Collins (Warren Beatty) is considered by bank manager Kessel (Gert Frobe) to be the most honest, hard-working bank security expert in the world. Unknown to Kessel, Joe has been devising a plan with his girl friend, American expatriate prostitute Dawn Divine (Goldie Hawn), to take the contents from bank safe-deposit boxes owned by several criminals and place them into one owned by Dawn.As Joe explains to Dawn, the theft will be beyond the law because the thefts of illegal funds can never be reported. Joe's plan depends upon his intellect and knowledge of the bank's expensive vault, coupled with information that Dawn supplies to him about some of her clients: Sarge (Scott Brady), an American sergeant who is involved in the black market, and has recently graduated to smuggling heroin; an attorney known only by his nickname Mr. Las Vegas, (Robert Webber) who is helping his Las Vegas clients evade taxes; and Candy Man (Arthur Brauss), a sadistic killer and drug dealer.Although Joe has arranged for his friend Helga (Christiane Maybach), a striptease dancer at a gangster-run nightclub, to report on Candy Man, she is killed, apparently after arranging for Dawn to meet Candy Man and accompany him on a flight to Copenhagen. Unknown to Dawn, Candy Man is to deliver some concentrated LSD that he has poured into an empty champagne bottle.On the flight, he gives Dawn the champagne to carry in her bag, telling her to save it for later. Upon their arrival in Copenhagen, though, she is stopped by customs officials, who say that they were given a tip (from Joe) that she might be smuggling drugs into the country. While they are questioning her, Candy Man surreptitiously takes the champagne and walks away. When Dawn is let go by the authorities, she returns to Hamburg, to the relief of Joe, who did not find out about Helga's death until after it was too late to stop Dawn.On the day of the heist, which Joe had already announced was his last before returning home, Joe sets his plan in motion by telling some of the bank employees to watch out for a suspicious-looking man with a scar. At the specified time, a nervous Dawn, who has been practicing her lines all morning, calls and whispers a threat to blow up the bank if Kessel does not give a man with a scar the gold bar on display in a secure case in the lobby. A nervous Kessel alerts Joe, who goes with him to retrieve the gold bar, then quickly grabs it and runs into the vault as he orders the clerk to shut the vault door immediately. Kessel and the others at the bank are amazed by Joe's bravery but worried when they realize that he had left the key to open the vault from the inside on his desk. Kessel communicates with Joe through the bank's video security system and assures him that the police are on their way and will look for the bomb. He also insists, over Joe's assurances that he will be fine and Kessel should not ruin a $50,000 door, on using a blowtorch to break the vault's lock because he fears that the air will not last until the next morning when it would automatically open.After the police determine that there was no bomb, scores of spectators and media arrive at the bank. While his plight is being reported extensively on local German television, Joe quickly unlocks and empties the targeted safe-deposit boxes, placing the content of each into Dawn's box and timing his activities to avoid the security camera's sweeping lens. Meanwhile, thousands of people throughout Germany are watching television and hailing Joe for his bravery, even Sarge and Mr. Las Vegas. When the welder finally breaks through the vault door, Joe has completed his job and the safe-deposit boxes appear to be untouched.The next day, when Sarge comes to empty his safe-deposit box, he sees Joe and congratulates him for his "American know how" and bravery. As Sarge and Candy Man go into private rooms to open their respective safe-deposit boxes, they are stunned to find them empty, as is Mr. Las Vegas, who collapses in shock.Meanwhile, Dawn, who has entered the bank and taken the contents of her safe-deposit box, now bursting with cash and Candy Man's champagne bottle, is barely able to leave the bank without the assistance of an eager Kessel, who finds her attractive.As the day goes on, Candy Man is threatened and savagely beaten up by his drug contacts for not having their money, and Sarge, believing that his partner, the Major (Robert Stiles), has robbed him starts to beat him up until Candy Man arrives and tells them that only the people who could not report their theft had been robbed. As they ponder what has happened, Candy Man sees a photograph of Sarge and Dawn, then takes Sarge and Major to her apartment. Although Sarge thinks that Dawn is "a dumb broad," incapable of being involved in the robbery, they find Joe's name and telephone number in her address book, then call him and quickly hang up. Candy Man, who says he does not believe in coincidences or heroes, waits while Sarge calls Kessel to ask for Joe's home address, saying that he is a friend who lost his address. Kessel is at first reluctant to reveal the information but relents when Sarge says that he needs it for a party, which Kessel assumes is Joe's going away party. Kessel then has second thoughts and calls Joe to inform him what he has done. Joe tells him that it is not a problem, then quickly packs up all of the cash that he and Dawn have been counting. Dawn adds the champagne bottle to the suitcase (unaware about the contents) she will take, then, on Joe's instructions, drives away in his car just as Sarge, the major and Candy Man arrive.While the Major follows Dawn, Sarge and Candy Man pursue Joe into his building, then through the backstreets and rail yards of Hamburg. Meanwhile, Dawn eludes Major by boarding a train that is about to leave, then jumping off as it pulls out of the station.Sarge and the Candy Man continue to chase Joe through the city and the underground Elbe Tunnel before Joe makes his escape from Hamburg by hiding in a car being transported on a car hauling trailer. Candy Man writes down the truck's license plate number and makes a call to the destination of the truck.Early the next morning, Sarge and Candy Man see the trailer out in the country and moments later spy Joe walking through the snow. They jump into Sarge's car and follow the road around a frozen lake, and when the car gets stuck in some slush, Candy Man jumps into another car and drives out onto the lake. As Candy Man drives back and forth trying to run down Joe, the ice begins to crack and the car sinks, sending him plunging to his death in the icy water.Now Joe starts to run toward a moving train as Sarge gets into his car and follows. Some time later, as Joe is sleeping in a compartment on the train, Sarge (having stopped the train with a road flare on the train tracks to secretly embark) puts a gun to his head. He demands the money, but when Joe opens the suitcase... it contains only old newspapers and the bottle of champagne. Joe then says that Dawn has cheated all of them and convinces Sarge to work together to find her. They decide to open the bottle of champagne to seal the deal, but while Joe looks at his glass and wonders why there are no bubbles, Sarge drinks straight out of the bottle and almost immediately begins to writhe in pain as the concentrated LSD takes effect. When the train arrives at the next station, Joe throws the suitcase into the trash and walks away.Some time later, Dawn checks into a Southern California resort and is happily reunited with Joe, telling him that she knew that they would never kill him as long as he did not have the money.
    


            
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Private Benjamin


            During a surprise 42nd birthday party for George Webber, a well-known composer of popular music, he finds himself coping badly with incipient middle age. When he catches a glimpse of a mysterious woman en route to her wedding, he is instantly obsessed by her beauty, and - despite the presence of his lover Samantha Taylor - follows the woman to the church where he crashes into a police cruiser and is stung by a bee. George visits the priest, and learns that the woman is Jenny Miles, daughter of a prominent Beverly Hills dentist. Later that night, Sam and George have an argument about George's failure to give her the attention she needs, his use of the term "broad", and the fact that he and his neighbor (a wealthy porn producer) watch each other perform carnal acts using telescopes. The final straw for Sam occurs when George makes a remark subtly impugning her femininity at which point Sam leaves in a huff.The following day, George and Sam suffer a series of mishaps that prevent them from reconciling, including George spying on his neighbor until hitting himself with his telescope and falling down an embankment, causing him to miss Sam's phone call. In addition, George schedules a dental appointment with Jenny's father, and while in the dentist's chair, subtly leads the dentist into disclosing that his daughter and her husband went to Mexico for their honeymoon. The examination also reveals a mouthful of cavities, requiring the dentist to spend the entire afternoon inserting fillings in George's teeth. The after effects of the novocaine, which are aggravated by his heavy drinking immediately after, leave him completely incoherent and when Sam finally reaches him on the phone she mistakes him for a madman and calls the police. The police storm his house, but recognizing him they leave amicably. He visits his neighbor's house to take part in an orgy just as Sam arrives at his house, and she spots him through his telescope, widening the rift between them.Later, George impulsively follows the newlyweds to their exclusive hotel in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico. In the bar, George encounters an old acquaintance, Mary Lewis, who suffers from a lack of self-confidence because she blames herself for a series of failed relationships. When they attempt a fling that night, she interprets George's inadequacy in bed as confirmation of her insecurities despite her better-than-average looks and easygoing disposition.One hot day at the beach, George sees Jenny - suntanned and dressed in a one-piece swimsuit and her hair braided in cornrows - which furthers George's obsession. He notices that David, Jenny's husband, has fallen asleep on his surfboard. Pretending to inquire about renting a surfboard, George learns that beyond a certain point are powerful currents that can sweep a swimmer or surfer dangerously far from land. George rents a catamaran, clumsily but successfully rescues David, and becomes a hero. Both Sam and his songwriting partner see him on TV Network News and Sam tries to call him, but George (unaware that it is Sam) refuses the call. David, badly sunburned, stays in the hospital, allowing Jenny and George to spend time alone together, culminating in Jenny seducing him to the sounds of Ravel's Boléro.Although George is initially elated to find all of his fantasies being fulfilled, he is horrified when Jenny takes a call from her husband while in bed with him and casually informs him of George's presence. He is even more confused when David responds with a complete lack of concern (he had called to thank George for saving his life). When Jenny explains their open relationship and mutual honesty, George is appalled; with the thrill of enjoying forbidden pleasures extinguished, he loses interest in Jenny (Jenny, for the opposite reasons, loses interest in him as well) and he heads back to Beverly Hills.At the end of the film, he reconciles with Sam by demonstrating a new maturity and, taking an idea from Jenny, he starts Ravel's Boléro on the phonograph and they make love with the music playing in the background. This is in full view of the neighbor's telescope shortly after the neighbor has walked away in disgust, complaining that he has had enough of providing erotic entertainment to George and getting nothing in return.
    

Robert Webber

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