The One and Only Dick Gregory


            Henry Roth (Adam Sandler) is a wildlife veterinarian in Hawaii, who meets Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore) a woman who has a short-term memory loss from an auto accident a year earlier. Henry is a ladies man on the island who has been breaking the hearts of female tourists for years. Henry meets Lucy at a local cafe and takes her out on a date. Henry falls in love with Lucy, but there is one problem when she awakens in the morning, she can't remember him or anything that happened that day. Henry must devise a plan to meet Lucy everyday and try to get her to fall in love with him again and again. Douglas Young (the-movie-guy)
    

50 First Dates


            
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Real Rob

Men Behaving Badly


            Lieutenant Commander Thomas Dodge (Kelsey Grammer), a capable (if somewhat unorthodox) US Navy officer, is about to be denied command of his own submarine for a third time because of his unconventional ways (not to mention a widely known tattoo on his penis reading "Welcome aboard!' that he'd gotten after getting drunk due to brushing his sub against a Russian trawler off Murmansk). Failure to secure a command will result in him being dropped from the command program and be assigned a desk job, and he is particularly opposed by Rear Admiral Yancy Graham (Bruce Dern). Vice Admiral Dean Winslow (Rip Torn) finds the perfect use for Dodge, however, when Winslow launches a war-game to test the Navy's defenses against enemy diesel submarines. For this purpose Dodge gains command of the rusty WWII era Balao-class diesel sub, the USS Stingray. Adm. Winslow gives Dodge the order to "throw the book out" and to "think like a pirate" and advises that if he can win the war-game, including sinking a mock target in Norfolk harbor, Winslow will consider Dodge for command of a nuclear submarine.Adm. Graham, motivated by his dislike for Dodge and his own ambition (he brags that he has never lost a war-game, and that he is in line for a third star), tries to arrange circumstances to make Dodge's mission even more difficult. Graham handpicks a motley crew for the Stingray consisting of rejects and misfits: hot-tempered and uptight Executive Officer Martin Pascal (Rob Schneider), rebellious Engineman 1st Class Brad Stapanek, sharp-eared Sonar Technician 2nd Class E.T. "Sonar" Lovacelli, compulsive gambler Seaman Stanley "Spots" Sylvesterson, shock-prone (and shock-addled) electrician Seaman Nitro, and the not-so-culinary cook Seaman Buckman. Graham also institutes a pilot program for evaluating the feasibility of women serving on submarines, and Lieutenant Emily Lake (Lauren Holly) joins the crew as Diving Officer.Using unorthodox tactics to offset their technological disadvantage, Dodge and the Stingray crew win their first objective by getting into and setting off flares in Charleston Harbor. Desperate to defeat Dodge, Graham cuts the containment area for the wargame in half without authorization. Running into trouble on their first attempt at Norfolk harbor, Dodge leaves the exercise area. Irate at this lapse in protocol, the zealous by-the-book Pascal attempts to gain command of the Stingray, but no one supports him. Without support, his attempt is considered mutiny and, thinking like a pirate, Dodge makes him walk the plank, straight into the nets of an alongside fishing boat.During the Stingray's second attempt at Norfolk, Graham assumes personal command of the Los Angeles-class USS Orlando, headed by Commander Carl Knox (William H. Macy). After some risky maneuvers by the Stingray, the Orlando is able to chase her down and obtain a shooting solution which ends the game, but not before the Stingray accurately launched two live torpedoes at the dummy ship in Norfolk harbor.Adm. Winslow congratulates Dodge on a job well done and advises him that he will not get a Los Angeles-class submarine as requested, but a Seawolf-class submarine, which is a newer and much larger ship. Dodge rejects the notion of getting a "proper crew" with the new boat and requests that he be allowed to transfer the crew of the Stingray. The movie ends with The Village People and the movie cast singing and dancing to 'In the Navy'.
    

Down Periscope


            A real estate con artist named Stan Minton (Rob Schneider) panics when he learns that he's going to prison for fraud. Stan's fear of jailhouse rape leads him to hire a mysterious guru (David Carradine) who helps transform him into a creative martial-arts expert. After his incarceration, Stan uses his newfound skills to intimidate his fellow prisoners. He gains their respect, and eventually becomes their leader, bringing peace and harmony to the prison yard. But the corrupt warden has an elaborate plan that could help him turn a profit by turning the prison into a war zone, and Stan is the only thing standing in the way.
    

Big Stan

Home Team

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

The Andy Milonakis Show


            A scrolling and narrated prologue opens the film: in the Third Millennium (the 21st Century), the Earth's ecosystem has become polluted and altered, leaving much of the world's landmass a barren desert called the Cursed Earth. Most people have moved to a few "mega" cities, where, due to the rampant population increase, law and order have collapsed. A new order has risen, that of the Street Judges, who are "judge, jury and executioner", possessing the license to fight criminals, pronounce sentences and summarily execute them if necessary.When the story opens, Herman "Fergee" Ferguson is returning to Mega City 1 after serving a sentence in the Aspen Penal Colony. He arrives at his new home, Heavenly Haven, a dangerous neighborhood which is embroiled in a vicious "block" war. Gangsters have set up their command post in his new apartment and have opened fire on their rivals in another building and on the street, 40 stories below. Fergee finds himself an unwitting accomplice, passing ammunition to the block warriors.Street Judges Hershey and her candidate judge respond to the block war. Hershey calls immediately for backup, which arrives in the form of Judge Joseph Dredd, the most famous of all the Street Judges. He leads an assault on the block warriors, dispatching several of them rapidly with his pistol, the Lawgiver 2. Hershey's candidate is killed when he rushes into the command post and is shot immediately. Dredd kills everyone but the block war leader and charges him with several violations of the Mega City Municipal Code, before summarily executing him for the candidate's murder. He announces that court is adjourned. Outside the apartment, he finds Fergee hiding in a servo-droid and finds him guilty as a repeat offender, giving him five more years in Aspen. Fergee claims he's innocent and was hiding from the block warriors, however, Dredd refuses to be swayed and dismisses Fergee to re-incarceration. Dredd reports to Chief Justice Fargo, who questions Dredd's hardened methods of summary execution. He believes Dredd when the judge tells him that the executions were unavoidable. Fargo assigns Dredd to teaching ethics at the academy a few days per week.At the Aspen Penal Colony, Warden Miller meets with a man named Rico and gives him a small object that contains a copy of Rico's badge and a picture of a reporter, Vartis Hammond, who has done several investigative reports on the Street Judges which are high critical. Rico suddenly unlocks a secret compartment in the box and it becomes a small pistol, which he uses to shoot Miller through the throat. Miller is unable to match the voice-identification that disarms the cannons in Rico's cell and he is immediately killed by them. Rico hides and is able to massacre the guards who rush into the room.At the Academy, Dredd tells a pool of cadets about the weaponry of a street judge and how little of it matters where knowledge of the Mega City Municipal Code is concerned. He also tells them that they stand a high chance of being killed on duty and that if they live to old age they will undertake the Long Walk into the Cursed Earth, where they will teach the savage denizens outside the city walls of the law. Hershey later speaks to Dredd about his obstinate personality and whether he had any friends. Dredd tells her that he did have a friend at the Academy but was forced to judge and sentence him when he broke the law.Rico stows away on a shuttle from Aspen in a body bag. In Mega City, he goes to a pawn shop and retrieves a box set aside for him. In the box is a judge's uniform and a Lawgiver pistol. When Rico reaches for the pistol, the pawnshop owner warns him not to pick it up because all Lawgiver's are booby-trapped and will only recognize the grip of a street judge. Rico picks up the pistol, unharmed by the defense mechanism, and shoots the man dead, revealing that he is a judge himself. Rico finds a giant combat droid, an ABC Warrior, in the shop and reactivates it, giving it the duty of being his personal bodyguard and a mission of "war".At Hammond's apartment, an unidentifiable judge bursts in and kills Hammond and his wife. The incident is captured on a security camera and Hammond's final word is "DREDD!!" Dredd is arrested on the street and incarcerated for trial.Dredd chooses Hershey to defend him due to her expertise in criminal law. At the trial, the recording from the security camera is presented, however, Hershey successfully has the evidence dismissed as circumstantial since Dredd cannot be positively identified. However, new evidence is presented; the Lawgiver 2 pistol has a secret feature that captures the DNA of the wielder and imprints it on every round of ammunition fired. The DNA from the rounds that killed Hammond and his wife are an exact match for Dredd himself. Hershey and Dredd's defense crumbles and Dredd is sentenced to death. Fargo, who is overcome with guilt at seeing Dredd, one of his greatest students, sentenced, decides, with some goading from Justice Griffin, to retire as Chief Justice and leave Mega City on his long walk into the Cursed Earth. Before he resigns, Fargo asks the Justice Council to commute Dredd's death sentence and send him to the Aspen Penal Colony for life. The council agrees, Fargo leaves Mega City in honor and Griffin becomes Chief Justice.Later, when Griffin returns to his office, he is confronted by Rico, who demands access to a project called "Janus". Griffin tells Rico that there must be a demand for the project to be implemented; violent crime must engulf the city for Griffin to convince the Justice Council to re-institute Janus. Rico promises to do just that.Dredd is put on to a shuttle going to Aspen; seated next to him is Fergee. (Seated around them are several criminals who were sentenced by Dredd himself.) Dredd and Fergee argue briefly about how Dredd unfairly re-convicted Fergee; Dredd claims "the law doesn't make mistakes" and Fergee asks Dredd to explain how the judge became convicted himself. Just then, another con on the shuttle attacks Dredd. On the ground, the Angel Family, religious fanatics and pirates of the Cursed Earth, blast the shuttle out of the sky with a rocket launcher. In the ensuing chaos, the pilots of the shuttle are killed. Dredd and Fergee are the only survivors and are captured by the Angels.In her apartment,Hershey conducts her own investigation of Dredd's conviction but quickly find herself locked out of Central's online system.In the Angel Family's lair, Dredd identifies them as pirates and scavengers. Fergee, in an attempt to escape their clutches, suddenly proclaims himself a believer in the Angel's religion and is let go. Dredd then reveals the Angel's darkest secret; they are cannibals and plan to eat Fergee in sacrifice. Dredd frees himself and is immediately attacked by the Angels, whom he takes out one at a time. When Pa Angel attacks Dredd, he is shot dead by one of the salvage team sent by Chief Justice Griffin himself to investigate the shuttle crash. The two salvage men prepare to execute Dredd when they are shot dead by Chief Justice Fargo, who'd found the crash site. Fargo himself is critically wounded by Mean Machine Angel, whom Dredd had knocked out moments before. Dredd fights Mean and electrocutes him, citing a violation of the Mega City code for illegal use of electricity.Hershey consults a promising cadet, Ohlmeyer, about a photo she'd found of Dredd as an infant with his parents. Ohlmeyer quickly determines that the photo is a forgery.As Fargo dies from his wounds he tells Dredd about Janus, a sophisticated genetics project that tried to clone children with the best traits of the existing judges in an attempt to create the perfect Judge. There were two subjects produced, Rico and Dredd himself, who never knew Rico was his brother. The project was a massive failure with Rico becoming a psychotic monster, judged by Dredd and sentenced to Aspen for life. Fargo dies and Dredd vows to return to Mega City and stop Rico from starting the Janus project again.Back in Mega City, chaos erupts as Rico, using his ABC robot, declares war on the Street Judges. Many are killed and their numbers reach a critical low point. Hershey detects a power surge near the Statue of Liberty and moments later is almost killed when her Lawmaster cycle explodes. The Judges Council meets and discusses the crisis, knowing that they cannot replenish their ranks quickly enough, even if they conscript every candidate at the Academy. Griffin suggests that they unlock the Janus project, which can produce a fully mature judge in mere hours (with the technology being more advanced than 20 years before, it's possible to create adult clones rather than children). Each member of the council gives their authorization, as does Griffin, however they collectively object when they realize that the project was already a major failure. Just then, Rico enters the room and murders the entire council, leaving Griffin alive.Outside the city walls, Dredd and Fergee are able to enter the city through a heat vent, barely making it inside. They enter the Halls of Justice, where Dredd steals a judge's uniform. Dredd finds the murdered members of the council and Griffin. He also sees Rico but fails to stop him. Griffin shoots himself in the arm, framing Dredd for the assault and the murder of the council. When guards move in to arrest Dredd, he flees on a newer model Lawmaster, flying off with Fergee. After a furious chase, they escape.Dredd finds Hershey at her apartment and tells her of Rico's plan. She goes with him to the Statue of Liberty where Rico has already started the Janus project. When Griffin objects to Rico replacing the old DNA samples with his own, Rico has the ABC robot dismember him alive. When Dredd, Hershey and Fergee try to enter the lab, Rico has the robot shoot Fergee and seize Hershey. With Rico threatening to have Hershey killed, Dredd agrees to listen to Rico explain his plan to create a super race of judges that will do only their bidding. Dredd naturally refuses to join Rico and they battle hand-to-hand. Fergee distracts the ABC robot long enough to disable it and Hershey fights with Rico's assistant, Ilsa Hayden, chief scientist of the Janus project. Rico finally corners Dredd where he hangs above the city. Rico tells Dredd that his judgement is death for betraying Rico years before. Dredd is able to distract Rico with a flare from his Lawgiver and pulls Rico over the edge where he falls to his death. Hershey finds Dredd and helps him to safety.On the street, Dredd is greeted as a hero. When asked if he'd like to take the position of Chief Justice, he refuses, saying he would rather remain a Street Judge.
    

Judge Dredd

The Benchwarmers


            Jessica (Rachel McAdams), the hot chick, is an over indulged, spoiled but extremely beautiful teenage girl who isn't used to hearing the word "no". Given this character flaw, when Jessica and her friends, her fellow hot chicks, go shopping at the mall, she steals some earrings from a metaphysical store after being told they're not for sale. Unknown to her, the earrings carry a centuries old curse and this is where the fun begins.While pumping gas and admiring her new earrings, Rob Schneider (his character isn't given a name) is robbing the gas station. When he waits on Jessica's car to speed his getaway, she drops an earring which is promptly picked up by criminal Rob. That evening, they both put an earring in their earlobe and while they sleep, their bodies trade places. Now we have Jessica (Rob Schneider) working towards convincing people he/she's not who they think he/she is and the now criminal in a woman's body has discovered he/she has a marketable quality in the form of being a "hot chick". As hard as Rob Schneider's Jessica is working towards reversing the curse, Rachel McAdams' criminal is working just as hard to use it before he/she loses it, including shaking it on a stage for dollar bills. Rob Schneider plays a great hot chick - Rachel McAdams plays a great criminal looking for the next score/scam.Everything these two go through being in the other person's body is funny and indicative of the oddball Schneider's usual fare. While this was never destined to be Oscar worthy, it's definitely just under two hours of escape, smiles and laughter.
    

The Hot Chick

You May Not Kiss the Bride


            The action takes place in December in a small American town called Dukesberry. The movie opens with Davey Stone, a 33-year old heavy drinker and troublemaker with a long record of petty crimes, announcing that he is not going to eat latkes or take part in any other holiday traditions but will instead, as always, drink the holidays away. After Davey leaves a Chinese restaurant without paying his bill and destroys ice sculptures of a menorah and Santa Claus, he is arrested.At his trial, Davey is about to be sentenced to ten years in prison, when Whitey Duval steps forward. Whitey is Davey's former basketball coach. He is a rather strange, short white-haired old man who suffers from frequent seizures, lives partially in a fantasy world and who has been longing to win the Dukesberry All-Star Patch, awarded for contributions to the local society, for the past thirty-five years. Whitey believes that he can get Davey to change his ways. Davey is released into Whitey's custody and ordered to work as a trainee referee in Whitey's children's basketball league. He is told that he will be sent to prison for ten years if he drinks or commits any crime during the period of his community service.Davey accompanies Whitey as he coaches basketball and as he does odd jobs around the town. Although Whitey is trying to help him, Davey takes every opportunity to humiliate and assault Whitey and to cause general disruption. Whitey takes Davey to his favorite place, the mall, a building to which he often talks. At the mall, Davey is reunited with his childhood sweetheart, Jennifer Friedman, who now works there, and her son Benjamin. Whitey reminds Davey that he missed his opportunity with Jennifer twenty years earlier but Davey believes that he has a chance to get together with her again.The trailer in which Davey lives is set on fire. He just has time to rescue his most treasured possession, an unopened Hanukkah card that his late parents sent him twenty years earlier, before the fire destroys the trailer completely. Having nowhere else to go, Davey moves in with Whitey Duval and his bald twin sister Eleanor. Davey finds that there are many rules that he has to follow at the Duval's house. Although he finds the rules annoying at first, Davey follows them and begins to turn his life around.Whitey tells Eleanor the story of how, twenty years earlier, Davey and his team of other Jewish children won a basketball game during Hanukkah but how afterwards Davey was informed by the police that both of his parents had died in a car accident. Eleanor realizes that event caused Davey's descent into alcoholism and his troubled life and feels sorry for him. However, Davey does not want her sympathy and feels angry with Whitey for telling the story. He insults both Whitey and Eleanor. Whitey tells Davey that he has lost the right to live in his house.Davey goes off and gets drunk. At night, he breaks into the mall, intending to speak to Jennifer, even though she is not there. The logos of the mall's various stores come to life and tell Davey that his troubles are due to the fact that he has never properly grieved for his parents. Davey is made to finally read the Hanukkah card from his parents which he had left unopened for twenty years. Davey reads a message from his mother and father which calls him a "wonderful son". He finally breaks down and cries.The police arrive at the mall but Davey escapes arrest and boards a bus to New York. When one tack bursts all eight tires on the bus, Davey is reminded of the Hanukkah story, in which enough lamp oil for one day lasted for eight days. He decides to risk arrest, return to Dukesberry and attempt a reconciliation with Whitey.The town's annual All-Star Banquet is being held that night. Whitey once again fails to win the All-Star Patch. He goes off unhappily, to talk to the mall. Davey arrives at the banquet. He announces that he is unconcerned about being arrested but tells the people of the town that they have been mistreating Whitey for years and that he deserves better. The people of the town follow Whitey to the mall, he is presented with that years All-Star Patch and all of the previous years patches as well. Although he has another seizure, Whitey announces that he is extremely happy and it is hinted that a relationship will begin between Davey and Jennifer.
    

Eight Crazy Nights

Hubie Halloween

Surf Ninjas

Back to the Jurassic

Shelby

Knock Off


            Marvin Mange (Rob Schneider) is a meek, uncoordinated man who dreams of being a police officer like his dad was. Instead, Marvin just works as a trainee in the evidence room of a small town police station. He tries a few times to pass the physical test to become a full-fledged police officer, but he just can't seem to finish the obstacle course.One day, while left alone at the station, he receives a robbery call. With all of the real policemen out at a softball game, Marvin rushes to the scene himself. Along the way, he swerves to avoid a seal in the road and crashes over a cliff. He is critically injured, but is rescued by Dr. Wilder (Michael Caton), a mad scientist who puts Marvin back together using animal parts.Days later, Marvin is returned to his normal life with no memory of what he has just been through. Suddenly, he's full of life. He can out-run horses, mean dogs are now scared of him, and he doesn't need his asthma medicine anymore. He thinks it's due to his late-night TV purchase of "Badger Milk", which is guaranteed in the ads to make him stronger.One day at the park, Marvin meets Rianna (Colleen Haskell) while she's out walking dogs from her animal shelter. His animal-like tendencies are slowly taking him over. When a frisbee is thrown in his direction, he can't control himself, and he jumps to catch it in his mouth.He goes to the airport to talk to his friend, Miles the security guard (Guy Torry), about his problem. While there, Marvin sniffs out a man trying to hide heroin in his rectum. For uncovering a drug smuggler, Marvin is declared a hero and is made a full-fledged police officer.As days go by, Marvin's animal instincts are becoming stronger and stronger. He often wakes up in strange places, and subsequently, hears about animal attacks that occurred in the middle of the night. Because of these attacks, Dr. Wilder believes that Marvin is out of control. The mad scientist confronts him, takes him to his barnyard laboratory, and explains about the grafts and transplants that saved and changed Marvin's life, and gave him remarkable animal powers with certain problematic side effects.Later, at a party thrown by the Mayor, Marvin chases after a cat and destroys everything around him in the pursuit. Marvin is fired on the spot. During his reprimand, he hears something, jumps into the nearby lake and rescues the mayor's son using powers derived from a sea lion and a dolphin. He is swiftly reinstated.Chief Wilson {Edward Asner) questions Marvin about the late-night attacks on farm animals, because one of witnesses made a police sketchand it is identical to Marvin.Rianna goes to Marvin's house, where he has barricaded himself inside. They spend the night together, but Marvin wants to be tied up so he can't hurt anyone anymore. In the morning, he finds himself untied, because Rianna thought he looked uncomfortable. Suddenly, the police show up outside. Another attack had happened that night, and the police have come for Marvin. Rianna convinces him to run.Marvin escapes to the woods, where a huge chase ensues. The police have organized an angry mob into a search party to catch Marvin. While running through the woods, Marvin finds Dr. Wilder. The scientist tells him that there was another "patient" of his that is out of control, and he is in the woods looking for it.Sgt. Sisk (John C. McGinley) confronts Marvin, and is about to shoot him. Suddenly, the other "animal" jumps from a tree and knocks Sisk down. It's Rianna. Now, the crowd wants to kill both Marvin and Rianna. Miles is there also, and he takes the blame for everything. He has been claiming that there is reverse discrimination with him since he's black, and that no one wants to hold him accountable for anything. Sure enough, once the mob thinks a black man was the responsible party, they don't care anymore, and leave, one man (Norm Macdonald) saying "I'm not going to be part of a mob that kills a black man."Marvin and Rianna get married, and have a litter of children that each look like Marvin.
    

The Animal

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Jungle Shuffle

American Virgin


            Based on the Bible Story
    

Noah

The Reef 2: High Tide

Pups United

Pups Alone


            Norm the polar bear is the son of the king of the Arctic. In his youth, he develops the ability to speak to humans, a trait shared by his grandfather. Because of this, he is made an outcast from the other animals, only being accepted by Socrates, a wise bird, and Elizabeth, a female polar bear whom Norm is in love with.Years later, Norm's grandfather has disappeared and human tourists are filling the Arctic. Socrates shows Norm and three Arctic lemmings a luxury condo that has been installed on the ice. Inside this condo is Vera, a representative for wealthy developer Mr. Greene. After Norm saves Vera from an avalanche, Mr. Greene tells her to find an actor to play a polar bear for their campaign. Socrates convinces Norm and the lemmings to stow away on a ship to New York City.
In the city, Norm, pretending to be an actor dressed as a bear, auditions for Mr. Greene's commercial and is taken to dinner by Vera. Greene, who realizes that Norm is a real bear, suspects that Norm has come to free his grandfather, who Greene has captured. During a public incident involving Greene trying to shoot Norm in the restaurant, Norm subdues Greene, gaining the attention of the media and heightening Greene's approval ratings. Greene decides to hire Norm as his mascot.Before going on a television show, Norm meets Vera's daughter Olympia, who tells Norm to raise Greene's approval ratings and then speak out against him to save the Arctic. Norm's popularity heightens the approval ratings, but Greene sabotages Norm's plan by playing recorded dialogue stating that Norm supports Greene's developments. Defeated, Norm is comforted by Vera and Olympia, who reveals that Greene is developing more homes to install in the Arctic. Norm and the lemmings discover that Greene is bribing a high-ranking member of the Polar Council, and exposes this to Pablo, one of Greene's investors. Vera resigns her position and is hired by Pablo, while Norm and the lemmings chase the truck holding the houses.Greene sends another truck carrying Norm's grandfather, and Norm is captured as well. After being freed by the lemmings, Norm and his grandfather catch up to the boat carrying the houses to the Arctic, and are able to detach the houses. However, Norm is separated from his grandfather and the lemmings, and is knocked unconscious.Norm awakens in the Arctic and reunited with the lemmings and the other animals, who reveal that his grandfather was not found. Because of his heroism, Norm is crowned the king of the Arctic, before his grandfather arrives at the ceremony. Meanwhile, Mr. Greene is humiliated after his plan is exposed, and Vera and Olympia are happy with Pablo as their new boss, while Norm and Elizabeth have three cubs together.
    

Rob Schneider

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