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Enlightened


            A rock band called No Vacancy performs at a nightclub three weeks before auditioning for the Battle of the Bands competition. Guitarist Dewey Finn (Jack Black) performs on-stage antics, including a failed stage dive that abruptly ends the band's performance. The next morning, Dewey wakes up in the apartment he lives with Ned Schneebly (Mike White) and his domineering girlfriend Patty Di Marco (Sarah Silverman). They inform him that he must make up for his share of the rent or move out. When he meets No Vacancy at a rehearsal session, he finds out that he has been replaced by another guitarist named Spider. Later, while attempting to sell some of his equipment for rent money, Dewey answers a phone call from Rosalie "Roz" Mullins (Joan Cusack), the principle of the Horace Green prep school, inquiring for Ned about a short-tern position as a substitute teacher. Needing money, Dewey impersonates Ned and is hired for the job. On his first day at the school, Dewey adopts the name "Mr. S" as he is unable to spell the name 'Schneebly', and spends his first day behaving erratically, much to the class's confusion.The following day, Dewey overhears a music class and devises a plan to form them into a new band to audition for the Battle of the Bands competition. He casts Zack Mooneyham as lead guitarist, Freddy Jones as drummer, cello player Katie on bass, Lawrence on keyboards, and himself as lead vocalist and guitarist. He assigns the rest of the class to various roles of backup singers, groupies, roadies and security, with Summer Hathaway (Miranda Cosgrove) as band manager. They project takes over normal lessons, but helps the students embrace their talents and overcome their problems. He reassures Lawrence, who feels nerdy, and is worried about not being cool enough for the rest of the band; Zach, whose overbearing father disapproves of rock and roll music; and Tomika, an overweight girl who is too self-conscious to even audition for backup singer, despite having an amazing voice. During one eloquent lesson, he teaches the children that rock and roll is the way to "Stick it to the Man" and stand up for themselves.Two weeks into his hiring, Dewey sneaks his main band members out of the school to audition for the Battle of the Bands competition, while the rest of the class remain behind to maintain cover. When Freddy wanders off to be with other much older musicians, Dewey retrieves him and chastises him for doing so. Unfortunately, the group is rejected as the bill is full. However, Hathaway comes up with a plan to deceive the organizers into thinking that the band is made up of terminally ill children. The plan works, and the band is ready to play. The next day, band groupies Michelle and Eleni, with Hathaway's approval, pitch the band name "The School of Rock". Almost immediately afterwards, Rosalie decides to check on Dewey's teaching program, forcing Dewey to teach actual material. Roz explains that a parents' night will take place at the school he day before the Battle of the Bands competition, rendering Dewey somewhat concerned.As Dewey prepares for the parents' night, Ned receives a paycheck from the school via mail and realizes that Dewey has been impersonating him. During the parents' meeting, the parents question what Finn has been teaching the children until Ned, Patty and the police confront Dewey. With Roz bursting in to question what is going on, Dewey reveals his true identity, admits he is not a licensed teacher and flees to his apartment where he and Paty later argue. Ned intervenes to break up the argument, Dewey apologizes to Ned and admits that he cannot give up music. Understanding, Ned opens up to Dewey, stating that he misses his old life being part of a rock band called Maggot Death, and explains that he chose to move on with his life after realizing that it was not becoming the career he had hoped it would be. Ned suggests that Dewey should do the same, and also move out.The next morning, the parents chastise Roz in her office. The children decide not to allow their hard work go to waste and sneak out of the school. When the new substitute discovers that they are missing, she informs Roz, who determines that they have gone to the competition. A school bus with the children comes to pick up Dewey, which takes them to the Battle of the Bands competition where they decide to play the song written by Zack. Initially dismissed as a gimmick, the band wins over the crowd. However, much to Dewey's dismay, his old band whom he was kicked out earlier No Vacancy wins. During this announcement, the audience chants "School of Rock", demanding an encore. The band retakes the stage and begins performing "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)" by AC/DC. Meanwhile, Ned, Roz and most of the childrens' parents have arrived in the audience. They are impressed and proud of Dewey and the band, much to the dismay of Patty, whom Ned breaks up with.Some time later, an after-school program known as the School of Rock has opened. We see Dewey continue to coach the students he previously played with, while Ned teaches beginner students.
    

School of Rock

Chuck & Buck

The One and Only Ivan

Brad's Status

Orange County

Gentlemen Broncos


            Beatriz (Salma Hayek), a Hispanic woman in her late forties, wakes up from a dream in which she is in a rowboat in a mangrove swamp and sees a little white goat on the shore. She tends to her two dogs and a brown goat that she has penned-up in her bedroom, urging them to be quiet. She gets ready, mediates and lights candles at an altar with photos of a man and the white goat. She drives an old Volkswagon that is slow to start from her modest Los Angeles house to a cancer center where she treats patients with massage, aromatherapy and breathing exercises. She leaves in a hurry to drive to a client's home in Newport Beach, Orange County during rush hour, arriving at the grand house in the gated community a bit late.Her client Cathy (Connie Britton), the middle-aged wife of a builder, is hosting a party for some of her husband's business associates that evening. During the massage, Cathy talks about what a wonderful experience college is for her daughter, who Beatriz treated when she was recovering from chemotherapy several years before. Beatriz becomes sad and tells Cathy that she suspects her neighbor, who has made several noise complaints and asked the city to make her give up her goats, killed her white goat by breaking its neck while it was briefly in her yard.After the massage, Beatriz's car won't start. She calls a friend, who is unable to come until several hours later. Cathy impulsively invites Beatriz to join the dinner party insisting that she play guitar and sing a song after dinner. Her husband, Grant (David Warshofsky), privately protests the invitation on the grounds that they are hosting his most important business associate, but Cathy insists that Beatriz is a friend of the family and should be included.The first guests to arrive are a couple in their thirties, Alex and Shannon (Jay Duplass and Chloë Sevigny). While waiting for their hosts, they meet Beatriz and explain that Alex is a lawyer who just got a development approved by the California legislature after nearly two years of lobbying. An older couple named Doug and Jeana Strutt (John Lithgow and Amy Landecker) arrive and are met with great excitement by Cathy and Grant as well as Alex and Shannon, with Beatriz forgotten and hanging out in the periphery. Doug is a famous developer, and the couples have come together to celebrate the approval of their latest project. The men and women break off and have drinks outside. Cathy introduces Beatriz to the women and speaks highly of her empathy and skills as a healer. Beatriz tries to be open but withdraws when the women gossip mean-spiritedly about a celebrity. While Beatriz is out of earshot of the other women, Cathy briefly describes her tragic history of being separated from her immediate family as a child, having to leave her hometown, being raised by her grandmother in the U.S., and losing her husband under unclear circumstances.Beatriz's friend calls to tell her he is unable to come for her until tomorrow morning. Cathy invites her to stay the night in her daughter's old room. As everyone heads inside for dinner, Beatriz stops and listens to Doug talk about potential titles for his memoir. Doug mistakes Beatriz for a servant, asking her for another drink, and is unabashed when introduced. Beatriz thinks she knows Doug, but cannot place their association.At dinner, Beatriz talks too long and sincerely about herself for the comfort of the other guests. Doug interrupts her to ask if she came to the U.S. legally and rudely cuts her off mid-story. Doug commends her for being employed but explains that the world needs people like him who provide jobs. He talks about aggressively pushing their development forward despite pending lawsuits over an endangered bird and possible environmentalist protests, bragging that he has overcome much more opposition in the past.Beatriz explains that her hometown in Mexico was destroyed by a failed hotel and asks Doug if he was the developer, which he denies. Beatriz briefly leaves the party and makes a phone call, leaving a message to an unknown person in Spanish asking if it was Doug Strutt's company they protested against when their homes were seized for the hotel development.During dessert in the living room, Doug and his wife talk about their upcoming safari in South Africa. Doug gives an impassioned speech about having dined at the buffet of life and finding nothing as exciting and pure as hunting and killing a wild animal. He passes around his phone showing a photo of the rhinoceros he killed on his last safari. When Beatriz sees the photo, she calls it disgusting, throws the phone across the room at Doug and retreats to the kitchen. Cathy joins her and accepts her apologies and explanation that she isn't used to drinking, urging her to go to bed for the night.Alone in her room, Beatriz smokes a joint and continues to drink white wine while researching Doug Strutt on the internet. He has been involved in many controversial projects and has even evaded prison, presumably due to his vast resources to fight all charges of wrongdoing. Beatriz leaves another message in Spanish, this one heartfelt and longing, for the same unknown person as earlier. She takes the guitar she finds in the room and rejoins the party, offering a song as an apology for having been rude earlier. The song is in Spanish; she explains that it is about longing for a time when life was good but knowing that it is gone forever. She acknowledges that she and Doug don't know each other but that she had earlier thought they had been brought together by fate, perhaps so that she would have revenge by killing him. He says there are many men who do what he does and she agrees. She talks about how she has spent her life trying to heal people and how tired she has become from the endless need and her inability to do more. She tells Doug that while breaking something takes two seconds it can take a lifetime, many lifetimes to put it back together again. Cathy tries to intervene, but Beatriz tells her to shut up, declaring that the earth is dying and that they are not protected in their gated communities, that it will touch them, too.Grant removes her from the party and calls a tow truck to take her and her car home immediately. As Beatriz waits for the tow truck, she watches Doug talking on the phone in the foyer. The tow truck arrives and picks up her car, but she asks the driver to wait and goes back into the house. She takes a letter opener from Grant's desk, approaches Doug from behind and stabs him in the neck. As he dies with his head in her lap, the others come running in shouting. Cathy repeatedly asks her why she did this and Beatriz snaps out of her fantasy: she did not stabbed Doug, rather she is still watching him talk on his phone in the foyer. The letter opener drops from her hand, and she gets in the tow truck.As they drive along the ocean, Beatriz asks the tow truck driver to pull over. She makes her way down to the beach and walks into the water. As the waves close over her head, the people at the dinner party light and set loose sky lanterns. In the last scene, our view starts underwater and rises in the mangrove swamp of Beatriz's dream.
    

Beatriz at Dinner


            (this first appeared on www.realmoviereview.com)
Molly Shannon, of Saturday Night Live fame, is Peggy, a lonely, but content, office worker whose life is cracked by the sudden death of her little dog (he is a very cute dog). These leads to romantic possibilities with a couple of men including her next door neighbour, Al (Reilly) and Newt (Sarsgaard). As these peter out, however, she slowly becomes more and more absorbed with animal rights and saving pound-incarcerated pooches. This leads her to make some very controversial decisions that threaten her stable, little life.Now, I love animals - all kinds of animals, and, though I often do not agree with the views and actions of organizations like PETA, I am sympathetic to their feelings. Year of The Dog started out as an unusual, little animal lovers romantic comedy like Must Love Dogs crossed with Amelie, but as Peggy turned more and more extreme in her views and actions, I began to resent the opinionated tenor of what I had expected to be light entertainment. PETA supporters, here is a movie just for you.
    

Year of the Dog

Dead Man on Campus


            The film opens with this third film of 'Pitch Perfect' opens somewhere off the coast of France. The Bellas are performing "Toxic" on a yacht for three men. When they finish, Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) crashes through the ceiling and sprays the men with a fire extinguisher, just as there is an explosion. The Bellas promptly jump ship.Three weeks earlier.John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks) are following Beca (Anna Kendrick) as part of a documentary on the Bellas that they are making, and making snarky comments as always. Beca currently works as a music producer for dim-witted rapper Pimp-Lo (Moises Arias). Beca submits his track with her singing backup vocals, but Pimp-Lo and Beca's boss want the song with just his lyrics. Beca gets annoyed at their lack of cooperation and support, so she quits.Beca goes back to the room she shares with Fat Amy to tell her that she quit, though Amy thinks she just got fired. We learn that Beca broke up with Jesse because they couldn't handle the long distance, and Fat Amy also broke up with Bumper. Chloe (Brittany Snow) enters to tell her friends about a Bellas reunion performance that is later that night.The ladies meet up with the rest of their Bella sisters - Aubrey (Anna Camp), Cynthia-Rose (Ester Dean), Stacie (Alexis Knapp), Lilly (Hana Mae Lee), Flo (Chrissie Fit), Jessica (Kelley Jakle), and Ashley (Shelley Regner). Emily (Hailee Steinfeld) comes over with her group of singers, which leads to the awkward realization that Emily had only invited the Bellas to watch her and her group perform, not to sing along as well. The Bellas watch with disappointment for themselves. After the performance, the Bellas gather to drink at the bar, where Chloe breaks down saying she would give anything to perform with her friends again. Aubrey then mentions that there is a USO performance tour that her dad can get them in, and if they are good enough, they get to open for DJ Khaled. The Bellas all agree to go, except for Stacie, as she is eight months pregnant (but doesn't know who the father is).The Bellas pack their bags and meet up with two soldiers, Chicago (Matt Lanter) and Zeke (Troy Ian Hall), who escort them into the hangar to meet the other performers, which include a DJ duo (one of whom shares an attraction with Lilly), a country music band, and the girl group Evermoist, led by Calamity (Ruby Rose). The latter mock the Bellas, which leads the Bellas to initiate a riff-off. The other groups get into it, but they use instruments. Even some of the soldiers get in on it. The Bellas leave when they realize they can't keep up with the instruments.The Bellas arrive in Spain. Upon arriving at the hotel, Chloe starts to chat with Chicago, whom she is infatuated with. Later that night, all the groups are set for their first major performance. Beca meets Theo (Guy Burnet), who works with DJ Khaled. When the Bellas are up to perform, they sing "Cheap Thrills" but are interrupted when "Taps" plays over the loudspeaker, embarrassing them.After the show, Emily comes in to encourage the Bellas to not feel sorry for themselves and to go out for the night. They go to a hotel for a party. They spot Theo and follow him to try and find DJ Khaled. Meanwhile, Fat Amy has found a stuffed bunny on her bed, which she recognizes from her childhood. At the casino, she runs into her father, Fergus (John Lithgow). However, Fat Amy is unhappy to see him because he is a criminal and has always been in and out of her life when it was convenient for him.Beca finds Theo, and he takes her to a recording booth where she starts to play around with the equipment and record some sounds. Theo appears to be interested in what he's heard. Outside, Aubrey learns that her father isn't going to make it to the show. Without noticing, she leans on a candle stand and knocks it over, setting curtains on fire. In the ensuing chaos, a tank full of bees is broken, leading to the swarm spreading around the room.The next morning, the Bellas are outside their hotel, humiliated from the night before. They get a video call from Stacie, who tells the ladies that she gave birth to a baby girl, and that she named her Bella. This encourages the Bellas to stop trying to win and just to perform just for the hell of it.The Bellas continue to perform together and enjoy themselves. Outside the shows, Fergus tries to get into Fat Amy's good graces once more, but she realizes he hasn't been watching her performances. He just wants access to an offshore account that Fat Amy's mother set up, which contains $180 million. After threatening her for it, Chicago and Zeke show up to escort Fat Amy back to her room.Theo finds Beca and brings her to meet DJ Khaled. They listened to what Beca recorded and they were impressed. Khaled offers Beca the chance to open for him, but only her. Beca is conflicted because she doesn't want to disappoint the others.The rest of the Bellas are hanging out on the streets when they are approached by a French man saying Chicago sent him to escort them to another venue. The Bellas follow him but are unknowingly abducted and taken onto Fergus's yacht. He calls Fat Amy to demand that she give up access to her account, or he will hurt the Bellas, starting with Jessica and Ashley (only because Fat Amy cares less about them than the others). Beca shows up at Fat Amy's room just as they learn what's going on.Beca and Fat Amy sneak onto the yacht. Beca makes her way to the other Bellas while Fat Amy beats the crap out of Fergus's guards. Beca buys them time by having them perform "Toxic". After Fat Amy takes out all the goons, she finds hidden explosives and stuffs them into a toaster while turning on the gas from a stove. She crashes through the ceiling to let the Bellas escape, just as the explosion occurs. Beca and Fat Amy jump off the ship, and Amy lands hard on a canoe. The authorities then show up to arrest Fergus and his goons.As the Bellas recover, Beca admits (or rather, Fat Amy blurts out) that DJ Khaled picked her to open for him, and that she would give it up if it meant she couldn't perform with the Bellas. The others think she is crazy and encourage her to go for it. They all talk about what they plan to do after they go back home. Aubrey is content to give up singing so she can become a birthing coach. Cynthia-Rose wants to join the military so she can eventually become a pilot. Flo just secured capital to franchise her juice truck. Lilly now speaks at a normal volume and says her real name is Esther. Fat Amy plans to recover the money from her account to perform acts as "Fat Amy Winehouse", or also "Fat Amy Adams" and "Fat Amy Grant". Chloe also just got into vet school. Emily wants to continue her studies but also continue to write music.Beca decides to take the spot to perform. She starts to sing "Freedom" and eventually gets the other Bellas to join her. The whole crowd loves the performance, and even the ladies of Evermoist appear to enjoy it. The Bellas receive one final standing ovation. Elsewhere, John and Gail are also impressed, and Gail tells John she hopes he recorded all of that... and then he realizes he never turned the camera on.During the closing credits, The film ends with the Aubrey's father joins her after watching the performance. Lilly goes off with the DJ she flirted with earlier. Chloe and Chicago hook up. John and Gail appear to give in to a mutual attraction to each other, but they laugh it off. Finally, we see what footage they got from their documentary, which shows the Bellas from the start of their journey, to the very end and the film close with closing credits.
    

Pitch Perfect 3


            Ignácio (Jack Black) is a young orphan boy dreaming of becoming the world's greatest luchador (Spanish wrestler) and decides to test his fighting skills in a monastary graveyard. He is discovered by monks and is taken to be cleansed and made into the orphanage chef. This does not bode well for young Ignácio, but he does his duty and continues to do so even after fifteen years, although not entirely successfully..As an adult, Ignácio still dreams of becoming the ultimate luchador, but has been taught that wrestling is a sin. To make matters worse, he meets his soul mate, a nun, Sister Encarnación (Ana de la Reguera) who has been hired as the orphans' teacher. He is smitten with her, but knows the relationship will never work for they both have take an oath of celibacy.
Nevertheless, he goes to speak with her and invites her to have toast with him in
his quarters, but is interrupted by the lead monk (Eduardo Gómez) who tells him to visit a man sick with influenza. Ignácio reluctantly obeys.Upon arriving at the man's house, Ignácio meets the man's wife, but sees that the man is apparently dead. He begins to give a eulogy, but as he does so, the man awakes from a deep sleep. This terrifies Ignácio and he leaves to take care of other duties. As he travels through the village on his trademark chariot (a motorized chariot-like shopping cart), he stops at a local eatery to pick up the free chips that the restaurant's owner leaves each day for the orphans. He is unexpectedly attacked by an extremely skinny street urchin (Hector Jiménez), who steals the chips and leaves Ignácio bruised and disgraced.That night, on the way back to the orphanage, Ignácio witnesses a luchador, the great Ramses (Cesar Gonzalez), being adored and worshipped by his many fans. Ignácio finds out that a tag-team tournament will be offered to new luchadors, and this grabs the attention of our dismayed hero.Ignácio and Encarnacion later enjoy toast in Ignácio's quarters and he sheds some light on his past. He then goes on to tell Encarnacion of his feelings about the monastary, and tells her of the luchador he encountered in the village. She tells him that luchadors are false idols, and to be patient, for his passion to fight should soon pass away.The next day, the monks complain about the missing chips. Ignácio tries to explain the situation, but his efforts fall on deaf ears. Angered, Ignácio leaves the monastary and heads to the village with a handful of leftover chips. He throws them into the alleyway where he was previously attacked. He waits behind a wall for the homeless assailant to pounce. He almost succeeds in sneaking up on him, but gives himself away when he breaks wind. He tackles the man and they begin to fight. During the fight, Ignácio asks the man if he would join him in the tournament. At first, Steven, the homeless man, ignores the proposition, but after hearing that there is a grand prize of two hundred pesos, he decides to team up with Ignácio. They make two makeshift luchador uniforms out of stolen items, train themselves with unusual methods, and then enter into the tournament.Ignácio and Steven now go by the names Nacho and Esqueleto (Nacho is a nickname for Ignácio; Esqueleto means "skeleton" in Spanish which suits malnourished Steven perfectly),
and face their first two opponents, El Semental (Ignácio Camarena) and El Pony (Carlos Barroso). Esqueleto is struck down by El Semental, but Nacho gives El Pony a run for his money.
At one point, it seems that Nacho and Esqueleto are nearing victory, until Nacho is knocked unconcious by El Semental.Although they failed to win the tournament, Nacho and Esqueleto are given a well-portioned
consolation prize. Nacho spends his part of the winnings on better food for the orphans' meals, and begins to draw out plans for a new uniform, a baby-blue and red one. Luckily, Steven has a knowledge of sewing and helps Ignácio create their new outfits. Chancho (Darius Rose), an orphan child, catches Nacho trying on his outfit in the monastary, but promises to never tell a soul.As Nacho and Esqueleto prepare for their next fight, Nacho hassles Esqueleto about his beliefs
in science, and not in the Lord. He unofficially baptizes him, and then they head on to the fight.
This time, they are pitted against two midget wrestlers known as Satan's Cavemen (Agustin Rey
and Ricardo Castillo). Although they are small, they prove worthy adversaries for our heroes,
and after a struggle they defeat Nacho and Esqueleto. Once again, however, the duo are paid a hefty consolation prize.This time they spend their cash polishing up their physical appearances. Ignácio buys new clothes and boots, and Steven gets a pedicure and a charicature. Ignácio tells Steven about his feelings for Encarnacion, and Steven concocts a plan. He proposes that Nacho should take Encarnacion on a date, and that he would show up with some of his hobo buddies to beat Nacho up, but that they would let him win. Ignácio likes the sound of this idea.That night, Ignácio takes Encarnacion out, by telling her that he wants both of them to minister
to a bum he claims he saw previously. Once they get there, Nacho says a few cheesy lines,
but then notices two gentlemen walking down the street. Thinking that they are Steven's friends, he challenges them to a fight. They ignore him, but he runs up to the two men and
rips one of the mens' jackets. They turn and face Ignácio, but he is already in his fighting position. However, he hears Steven's voice far off and sees him with his real hobo friends.
This distracts Nacho, giving the two men enough time to sucker-punch Ignácio, knocking him
unconscious.The next day, Nacho is humiliated and expresses his anger at Steven for being late. Steven feels
bad for Ignácio, and tells him about a secret water gypsy who uses magical eagle eggs to grant
peoples' desires. Nacho sees this as an opportunity to gain power as a luchador and the two
embark on a journey to see the gypsy. When they arrive, they sail over to a cliff in the water where
an eagle's nest is precariously perched. The gypsy tells Nacho to climb the cliff and to eat one of the eggs, and that this will give him the strength he needs. Ignácio makes the strenuous and difficult climb to the cliff's peak, and cracks open an egg and swallows the yolk inside. He then dives off the cliff into the sea below.Contrary to the gypsy's promises, Nacho and Esqueleto's next fights against the luchadors Paradise (Albert Madrid), Sage (Lauro Chartrand), and many others prove disastrous. Nacho feels that he was lied to and tells Esqueleto that they need to go pro if they wish to advance in their wrestling careers. He makes a plan to go to a party being thrown by Senor Ramon (Enrique Munoz), the best manager in wrestling.The next day, Ignácio takes the orphans on a field trip to see the village. He humorously gives insight into the town's various locales, and then he and the orphans see Ramses and other luchadors leaving the gym. The orphans ask Nacho to get Ramses's autograph, but after trying to persuade the wrestler for his signature, Ramses gets annoyed and shoves Nacho into a melon cart. Nacho then gives up trying.That night, after Steven once again sews new outfits for himself and Ignácio to wear to the party, Ignácio tells Encarnacion not to worry about getting the orphans food, but that he would do this himself. Nacho and Esqueleto then head to the party. After failing to get past the party's bouncers, Ignácio boosts Steven over a wall so that he can get in. Although Steven cannot lift Nacho, he is able to sneak in by pretending to be a member of the hired mariachi band. Steven strikes up a conversation with Senor Ramon, who who tells him about an upcoming tournament known as the Battle Jam. The winnner of this competition receives eight hundred pesos, and is given a chance to fight against the current champion, Ramses. Steven accidentally attracts the attention of Ramon's plus-sized daughter, Candidia (Carla Jimenez), and she is instantly love-struck.Meanwhile, Ignácio tries his best to pretend to play the bass guitar with the band. Steven goes upstairs to relax and finds Candidia's extensive doll collection. He accidentally breaks one of the dolls, but is surprised to find Candidia sitting right next to him in the room. She instantly forgives him. Naturally, Steven asks how she got upstairs so fast. Her reply is that she installed secret tunnels throughout the house. Obviously freaked out, Esqueleto makes a mad dash to leave, but Candidia travels down her secret tunnel.At the same time, Ignácio is asked to sing a song, so he makes one up right on the spot. However, his composition doesn't go over well, and Ramses shows his disapproval by pouring out his wine on Nacho's shirt. Screams can be heard over the crowd though, and Nacho goes over to see what the matter is. He finds that Candidia is trying to pull Steven into her secret tunnel, and tries to help by slamming her with his bass. He misses, and accidentally hits Steven. The two are then kicked out of the party.As they travel back to the chariot, they see two rival luchadors, whom Nacho and Esqueleto almost beat, slashing their tires. They engage them, but keep their disatance because their foes have knives. Steven uses an ear of corn he had been munching on as a projectile, and lands it in his foe's eye socket. The duo push the cart back to the orphanage, and then Nacho remembers that he forgot to the get the groceries. It's too late to go back however, because it is now approaching daybreak, so he takes his anger out on Steven. He blames him for his shortcomings and Esqueleto replies by saying that he hates all the orphans in the world.Later that day, Ignácio attends mass and prays for forgivness and that God would bless him in battle so that he could win money for the orpans. He goes to light a candle at the altar, but accidentally sets his robes on fire. The congregation sees the luchador outfit Nacho was wearing underneath his robes, and soon realizes what he has been doing. Nacho tells the monks
and Encarnacion about his plan to win the Battle Jam and give his winnings to the orphans for all of their needs. He leaves the orphanage to go to the Battle Jam, where he must fight several fighters all at once. The fighters include Silencio (Donald Chambers), El Snowflake (Craig Williams), Dynasty (Brett Chan), El Chino (Mike Ching), Muneco (Abelardo Hernandez), Carlos Rosales (Emiliano Quiroga), and his trusty companion, Esqueleto. Dynasty, El Snowflake, Muneco, and Carlos Rosales are defeated in the beginning, and Silencio takes out El Chino and Esqueleto at the same time.Nacho approaches Silencio but for some odd reason, Muneco trips Nacho from outside of the ring causing Nacho to fall in front of Silencio. Silencio picks Nacho up and then drops him, once again knocking our hero unconcious, also once again leaving him defeated. Nacho sullenly returns to the orphanage and decides to give up wrestling and spend the rest of his days in the wilderness. Chancho gives Nacho his lucky machete (his mother gave it to him before she died) and then Nacho heads into the wilderness.Ignacio creates a makeshift shelter and lives off of cactus water. The next day, however, Steven drives into the wilderness on the chariot and tries to persuade Nacho to come back to wrestling. As it turns out, it was easy for him to find Nacho because although he thought he was in the wilderness, Nacho was really right next to a small village. Esqueleto tells him that Silencio cannot fight Ramses because he got injured (which is humorously shown in a clip where Esqueleto runs over Silencio's foot with the chariot after Silencio was mean to a poor orphan child) and that Nacho gets to fight Ramses because he came in second place. Nacho is reluctant at first, but agrees to fight him.Ignácio writes a letter to Encarnacion which Steven delivers, which tells her of his love for her and of the fight he will be in against Ramses. While in the locker room, Nacho sings a very comical song to Esqueleto which he wrote for Encarnacion, but he is interrupted by an arena worker who tells him that the fight will now begin. Nacho goes into the ring and the battle against Ramses commences.Although there are many close calls, Nacho makes it to the second round. Ramses ignores the bell and begins an all-out street fight against Nacho. Ramses seems to have Nacho pinned until Encarnacion enters the arena with the orphans. The sight of his lover gives Nacho the strength to fight back, and he eventually flings Ramses out of the ring. Nacho then climbs up one of the corner pillars of the ring and dive-bombs towards Ramses. It is here that the eagle powers finally kick in and give Nacho the needed air time to reach Ramses and put him into an unbreakable submission. Against all odds, Nacho comes out victorious and is declared the luchador champion.A week later, Nacho takes Encarnacion, Steven, and the orphans on a field trip to see the Mayan pyramids of Chichen Itza in a newly-purchased bus and closes out this movie with a somewhat disturbing smile.
    

Mike White

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