
            Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains chronicles the surprisingly rapid rise to stardom for a very novice aspiring "rock" group made up of three teenage girls who can barely play instruments and in fact, have no drummer. Catching what is probably a rare rock concert in a small, working class town in Pennsylvania (although the movie was filmed in Vancouver), the girls, especially Corrine are taken by the dashing and exotic opening act, a British punk/new wave act called The Looters (who are in fact The Professionals, the band formed by Steve Jones and Paul Cook after the breakup of the Sexpistols although the lineup was altered for the film to showcase the more photogenic Ray Winstone as the singer and Paul Simonon, the bass player for The Clash).Corrine astutely observes that The Looters are not getting along at all with the headlining act, an aging glam group trying to cash in on the success of heavy metal by posing as its de facto parents, called Metal Corpses. Corrine quickly assesses her situation: she has just lost her mother to cancer and is going to be raised by an indifferent and small-minded aunt, she is going to grow up in a small, working class town with few prospects for anyone let alone an angry and creative young woman, and if there was ever a chance for her to chase the dream of instant celebrity, this is it. She cons The Looters with her womanly charms into believing that her "band" is a viable third act for the tour who will perform for little or no compensation. After some brief protest by her erstwhile band mates, they embark on a nationwide tour, lack of talent or actual songs be damned. Typical rock tour trials and tribulations ensue as expected, Corrine, an angry and sassy, but naive teenager pursues a romantic relationship with The Looters singer and in the process, she realizes that she can use her gender and sexuality as tools to manipulate men and get what she wants. The question rises as to whom is taking advantage of whom. After picking up some rock n roll tips from Ray Winstone, Corrine uses these and the connections he has with promoters and agents to finagle more exposure and fame for her band. She goes a step further and steals some songs written by The Looters and begins performing them as her own at concerts where she has managed to convince local media entities to attend. She uses the recent tragedies in her life to garner support in her TV interviews and over night, with the help of a shady rock agent, amasses a following of teenage girls who attempt to emulate her new look which is also being marketed by the same shady rock agent. This, of course, infuriates Ray Winstone, who believed he was helping out and at the same time, taking advantage of a naive teenager who it turns out, played him for the sucker. Corrine soon finds out that success and fame can be fleeting, especially when they are gained more through scandal and infamy than actual talent. It is perhaps in this sense, a cautionary tale for the nonstop wave of "celebutards" and reality show "stars" that would arrive on the scene some twenty-five years after this film was made. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains maintains a loyal cult following due to the presence of actual punk royalty(The Professionals, who were an infamous and short-lived band with few appearances) and the springboard that it became for Ray Winstone, Diane Lane, and Laura Dern.
    

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains


            
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