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Parker Lewis Can't Lose


            In the opening scene, 17-year-old high school senior Christine 'Chris' Parker (Elisabeth Shue) is awaiting the arrival of her boyfriend, Mike Toddwell (Bradley Whitford), to pick her up for a date. When he arrives, he devastates her by canceling their plans to go to a French restaurant in downtown Chicago due to his sister becoming ill. Brokenhearted, Chris has her best friend Brenda (Penelope Ann Miller) come over, and while she is there, the Andersons call asking if Chris can babysit their daughter Sara. Seeing no other plans for the evening, Chris agrees.When she arrives, she discovers eight-year-old Sara (Maia Brewton) and her 15-year-old brother Brad (Keith Coogan) in an argument. Sara had taken Brad's Clearasil lotion and used it to paint another picture of her Marvel hero Thor, prompting Brad to call him a 'homo' and upset her. She manages to blackmail him by telling him in front of Chris (without his knowing) that she would tell Chris about all of his love poems to her. Embarrassed, Brad admits defeat and apologizes to Sara.After the Andersons leave for the evening, Brad is visited by his best friend Daryl (Anthony Rapp), whose house he was supposed to be staying over that night, but Brad cancels and returns to the living room where he shuts the blinds out from the "stray dog" as he describes him to Chris. Chris gets a call from a frantic Brenda, who had successfully run away from home, but unsuccessfully stranded herself at the bus station downtown. Without the money to pay for a cab ride, Brenda's fear prompts Chris to decide to drive into town. Sara and Brad won't let her leave them home alone, and Daryl's eavesdropping forces her to take him along as well.In the car, Chris tells Sara a scary story about a man with a hook who kills a babysitter and her children, and when a car tire blowout stands them on the expressway without a spare, she realizes that she forgot her purse at the Anderson's and thus they have no money. A tow truck pulls over and "Handsome" John Pruitt (John Ford Noonan) offers them a hand, or a hook to the surprise and fear of the children. Offering to pay for the tire repair, Pruitt is distracted by a call on his CB radio and he diverts off the expressway to his home where his wife is cheating on him.In a resulting shootout where Pruitt attempts to kill his wife's fleeing adulterous lover, Chris and the others get out of the truck and into a parked Cadillac (Mrs. Pruitt's lover's car), which is being stolen. The thief, Joe Gipp (Calvin Levels), promises to take them to safety after he drops off the car at a local chop shop. However, the mobster leaders Greydon (Ron Canada) and Bleak (John Chandler) detain Chris, Sara, Brad and Daryl up in the office while they are involved in a meeting with some shady business types over the stolen cars spare parts.In the office, Daryl steals a Playboy magazine to replace his dad's, which had been thrown out of the car window earlier by Brad. Chris, Sara, Brad and Daryl make a tense escape crossing the girders in the warehouse ceiling, escaping outside. The car thieves Greydon and Bleak find the Playboy missing, and as it contains incriminating evidence that can be used against them, so they give chase with a reluctant Joe driving their car after the kids.The kids are chased into a blues club where they are not allowed off the stage until they reveal their predicament in song, much to the cheers and applause from the audience. When they are allowed to leave, they are reminded of their mission and predicament when Darryl attempts to pick up a prostitute (Monica Deveraux) on the street who turns out to be a seventeen-year-old runaway.Meanwhile, Brenda is not having a very good time at the down town bus station. Having her eyeglasses stolen by a homeless woman while resting leaves her practically blind, she mistakes a sewer rat for a kitten, and is laughed at by two pest exterminators when she attempts to defend it. A hot dog vendor (Peter Lavender) will not accept her small check as payment, stating "You slip me the cash, and I'll slip you the wiener." But when she says, "I don't have any cash!" he proclaims, "Then I don't have a wiener!"Back on the street, another chase from the thieves prompts Chris, Sara, Brad and Daryl to board a elevated train where a pair of rival gang members move in to kill each other. Chris intervenes to hold off the fight until they exit the train, and Brad stands up when she is insulted. Brad gets a knife thrown into his shoe, and Chris wields it against the gang, quoting her famous line: "Don't fuck with the babysitter." When they back off, the four of them leave the train and rush Brad to the hospital. After a scare where they think Brad has died, they run into Pruitt again at the hospital, who was taken there by the police there for injuries his sustained while fighting his wife's boyfriend. Pruitt tells the kids that he managed to get their car at Dawson's Garage before he was arrested, but tells them that they will need to pay $50 for the replacement tire, as he had to pay for the windshield damage from the gunfight earlier. Pruitt then flees from police custody and into the night.As Chris, Sara, Brad and Daryl wonder the streets to debate their predicament, they arrive shortly after at a college fraternity party. Chris meets a new love interest when a friendly frat member named Dan Lynch (George Newbern) offers to help them. Dan manages to get together $45 toward the car's tire payment. Darryl gets into trouble with a jock whose lonely girlfriend attempts to have sex with him, and Dan takes them to Dawson's Garage.Leaving, and expected never to be seen again as he did not give Chris an address to get hold of him to pay him back, upon entering the garage, they meet Dawson (Vincent D'Onofrio), whose long blond hair and physically fit appearance causes Sara to think he is the alter ego of Thor. Dawson, offended by the $5 shortage, refuses to relinquish the car, but Sara's selflessness in giving him her plastic Thor helmet prompts him to have a change in heart, he gives the car and her helmet to the kids, and lets them go. However, the mobster car thieves, Bleak and Graydon, are staking out the garage after Joe reluctantly told them about where Chris and her group are heading to.En route to the bus station, Chris spots the restaurant that Mike was supposed to take her to that night, and Darryl points out Mike's red sports car in the parking lot. They go in to find that Mike is dating and flirting with the sleazy bimbo Sesame Plexer, and it is revealed that Mike was only dating Chris in interest of having sex with her. Brad stands up for Chris, whereas Mike dares Brad into hitting him, but Brad backs down claiming that he will not sink to his level. Darryl admits, "I will", and kicks Mike into a dessert cart.Meanwhile, Sara has slipped out of the restaurant to visit a toy store she had seen, and is approached by Bleak, who spots the stolen Playboy in her backpack. They chase her down to the building that her parents are having their party in, and find through chocolate finger smudges on the elevator buttons which floors to check. Graydon exits in the renovated top floor of the building, and discovers Sara climbing out the window on a rope. Chris, Darryl, and Brad hot on their trail choose the wrong floor and accidentally crash the Anderson's office party. After a brief encounter with Bleak, both he and Chris notice Sara walking along the window ledge outside, and Chris causes Bleak to trip while she and Brad and Darryl go upstairs and discover Sara outside the window. After pulling her up to safety, Joe arrives and explains they were after the Playboy the whole time. They decide to leave Graydon outside and let him "sweat a little" while Joe shows his resignation from the car thieves by punching out Bleak and leaving the stolen Playboy beside the unconscious mobster. The group then departs the building.At the bus station, Brenda discovers her glasses and steals them back from the homeless woman, only to be chased from the bus station by everyone she had come across. Being chased by the homeless, she runs into the exterminators, past the hot dog vendor, and past the phone booth, which is a homeless man's house. After she gets outside, she is finally picked up by Chris and the others and she proclaims "What took you guys so long?!"On the way home, the kids pass the Andersons on their way home. Chris sends the kids upstairs and Brenda home before cleaning up the messes that had been made earlier in the day, coming to settle down just as the Andersons appear in the doorway, not suspecting a thing. Chris goes upstairs to say good night and announces her plans to retire from babysitting. They each admit to each other and thank themselves for "What was probably the greatest night of their lives... so far".As Chris leaves, Dan makes a surprising appearance to return Sara's roller skates, which she'd left in his jeep, as well as admit to Chris that he is interested in her. Sara shouts "Kiss him!" from the bedroom window, and they comply happily. Brad, who had come to realize that while they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend, he and Chris can still have a good friendship, accepts that Dan is better for her than he is. He closes the blinds to give the two some privacy, and the end credits roll.After the end credits are done, there is a final shot of Graydon still stuck on the ledge of the building where Chris and the kids left him.
    

Maia Brewton

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