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Rocko's Modern Life


            Moments after being confronted by O'Hara and Kevin about her drug addiction, Jackie hides in her bathroom. Then she starts furiously going through cupboards and packing up the contents (to the raucous soundtrack of "Don't Rain on My Parade" from "Funny Girl").She goes downstairs, full of venom at Kevin, saying half of the things she bought were for the family. She says the credit card was separate, not secret. She says both of their daughters deserve to go to private school and she shouldn't have had to beg for the money. She comes up with everything she can think of to hurl at Kevin and deflect, then she storms out to go get the girls, putting on happy face like her world isn't crashing around her. At the hospital, Jackie talks to Gloria, saying she wants to pre-empt. She says she's been using pills for a few months for pain but it's under control. She says Kevin found a credit card receipt for the pharmacies and called O'Hara, not knowing her family has a history of drug abuse. She says O'hara had a "disproportionate" response and cautions Gloria to take whatever O'hara might say with a grain of salt.Gloria says if O'hara alleges substance abuse, she has to notify HR. She tells Jackie to deal with it.Cooper storms in, announcing that he refuses to work with Sam because he caused him bodily harm. He wants Jackie. She agrees.Jackie leaves.O'Hara walks in.Jackie and Cooper see a five year old who stuck a tiny mouth mirror up his nose because he wanted to see his brain. It's lodged there.Jackie suggests they do a brain scan so the kid can actually see his brain. Cooper likes the idea of using his powers for good.O'hara tells Gloria she's not happy to be in the middle of a private situation with Jackie and Kevin and doesn't want to work the same shifts as Jackie. Gloria asks O'hara if she thinks Kevin is right to be concerned. O'hara plays dumb.Thor brings Sam snacks for his raging hangover. Sam's glad not to be busted. They watch as Zoey jumps all around, trying to contain her excitement. She sidles up to Jackie and announces she and Lenny had sex.
"No," is all Jackie says.So Zoey overshares to Thor and Sam.Gloria joins them to rail about hospitals struggling and the fact it means many qualified nurses are looking for work. She tells them to be on their game and reminds them probation will be strictly enforced.When she leaves, Sam checks with Jackie to see if she's gonna narc. "I've got an axe I drop on your head at any moment, why would I give that up?" she says.The paramedics bring in a 20 year old mover who was crushed under a ton of boxes. O'hara treats him with Jackie. Later, Jackie finds his dad and boss, Mr. Finn outside. She tells him he's in renal failure from the amount of time he was under the boxes. His dad blames himself because he thought Tim was just taking a nap.Jackie goes back inside to the patient. He goes into more failure. O'hara says it's not survivable. She repeats herself pointedly to Jackie.Jackie sits with Mr. Finn in the chapel. He worries his son will die before his mom gets there. He says it was an hour and a half, maybe two his son was under there. He was hauling boxes and getting upset that his son wasn't around. He takes a paper bag out of his pocket. His son made him lunch. He gives half the sandwich to Jackie. Kevin talks to an administrator at Grace's school about enrolling Fiona. He wants the school to contact him for the girls. He tells her to split up partial tuition payment on several credit cards.Jackie crushes up pills and snorts them. She runs into Eddie. Cooper joins them and wants them to guess how much his shoes cost.Sam tries to recreate his drunken evening with Thor, and remembers only that Thor and Jackie tap danced for him. Zoey joins them, wanting to talk about "sexy time" with Lenny, Thor refuses, in part because she calls it "sexy time."Kevin walks up to the window and asks to speak with Jackie. He says he's her husband, but Zoey says she's not married. She asks for ID. Zoey finds Jackie in the pharmacy. She takes a deep breath and announces to Jackie that her husband is there. Cooper thinks it's a joke, but after Jackie leaves Eddie immediately closes up the pharmacy to hide. Zoey announces that she doesn't think Jackie sleeps with just anyone, thereby outing her affair with Eddie to Cooper. Cooper tries to give Eddie grief for messing with "another brother's lady" but Eddie points out Cooper slept with Sam's girlfriend -- right as Sam walks in.Jackie talks to Kevin in the waiting room. He's incensed that no one knew she was married, but she says today's Zoey's first day. He tells her he's paying for Fiona's tuition.A drunk chick drops a bottle near a kid in the waiting room and Jackie goes to tend to the kid. Kevin leaves. Jackie contemplates her new diamond wedding ring in the church.O'hara comes in. Jackie sits down near her and O'hara gets up and walks away, telling Jackie she broke her heart. Cooper shows the five year old his brain scan, but gets nothing. Jackie walks him through it, showing him the parts for his common sense and popularity. She's a hit. O'hara snaps at Zoey for asking where Jackie is. Jackie goes to Kevin's softball game. A woman in front of her is looking for something furiously and Jackie asks. The woman says it was her last Percocet. Jackie sees it sitting on the bleacher and contemplates about it. Then she points it out to the woman and gives her her soda to wash it down. "That s--- will kill you," Jackie says helpfully.
    

Linda Wallem

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