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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

America Says

Great News


            As the studio credits roll, a pop tune starts playing and it turns into the ring tone for Carl Allen (Jim Carrey). Carl sees 'Unknown Caller', which he ignores until he accidently answers the call. Carl is talking to his best friend Peter (Bradley Cooper) who is trying to persuade him to come to a gathering at the usual bar and Carl keeps trying to weasel out telling Peter that he's at home and he's got things to do but is really at the local Blockbuster renting movies like 300 and Transformers for a lonely night at home. During the conversation, we see Peter outside the store window, and Carl is caught.Carl ends up going to the bar with Peter, Rooney (Danny Masterson from That 70's Show) and Lucy (Sasha Alexander). Peter makes the big announcement that he and Lucy are engaged and tells Carl the date of their engagement party, which Carl is obligated to attend. While this is going on, Carl looks over at the bar to see Stephanie (Molly Sims). Stephanie is Carl's ex-wife and it's been three years since their split. He tries to excuse himself but they come over and chat for a bit and he's introduced to her new boyfriend. He tries and makes a graceful exit but doesn't bumping into the waitress with a tray full of drinks and then slipping on the wet floor.The next morning, we see Carl get dressed in a bland suit, pick up a name tag and head out the door to his job as a junior loan officer at a bank. As he closes his door, a nice elderly woman named Tillie asks him if he wants some breakfast and invites him over, and Carl declines. As he heads to work, he meets a homeless man and declines him help, gets his coffee and declines a flyer to come see a local band and ends up in front of his computer declining emails and websites for Middle Eastern wives.At work, we meet his boss Norman (Rhys Darby). Norman takes a call at Carl's desk and it turns out that Carl was passed over for a promotion. A guy then comes in and asks for a loan to start a business of making "Roller Blade Suits". He is desperate and has no other options but Carl denies his claim. As he sits outside and ponders his existence, he meets an old co-worker Nick (John Michael Higgins) who left the rat race to "live". He's traveled exotic places and done incredible things and he attributes this to being a "Yes Man". He invites Carl to the next 'Yes' conference and makes him take a pamphlet.We then see a montage of Carl living out his mundane life renting movies and watching them and in the middle of the movie 'Saw' (the part where he's cutting off his own leg, please see spoiler for Saw), Peter comes in and tells him he missed the engagement party and he's upset at Carl. As he leaves, he tells Carl to do something about his life or he'll be alone.Immediately after this, Peter and Rooney enter Carl's apartment and make comments of how dead Carl looks. It turns out that this was only a nightmare and as Carl wakes up, he opens the 'Yes' Conference pamphlet and he decides to attend.As he walks through the lobby of tables and booths holding a 'Yes' tote bag, he walks into the conference room and sits down. Amazingly, Nick is in the same row and comes over to sit with Carl. As the conference begins, there is a montage of images with the philosopher of the so-called 'Yes' Guru, Terrance Bundley (Enter, Terrance Stamp). He starts his 'Yes' chanting and what not and welcomes everyone, especially those that are there for the first time and as he continues to ask who is there, Nick shouts out that Carl is there for the first time. Terrance asks Carl to come to the front and when Carl declines several times, Terrance takes off his shoes and runs to him from the stage. As he confronts Carl, every time Carl says no, the crowd starts chanting, "No-man! No-man!" and every time he says "yes", the crowd screams, "yes!" After bantering with Carl for a while, Terrance makes a 'covenant' with Carl to say YES at every opportunity and Carl hesitantly agrees.As Carl and Nick are walking away from the conference, people congratulate Carl on his breakthrough. Just then, a homeless man (Brent Briscoe) mentions how nice his BMW is and asks Carl for a lift to the park. Encouraged by Nick, he agrees. In the car before they leave, the homeless man asks to use Carl's phone and Carl agrees. On the ride to the park, the homeless man is laughing with someone on the phone, while Carl is asking where in the park to drop him off. The cell phone battery dies and the man thanks Carl. Before the homeless man shuts the door, he asks Carl for a few bucks. The new Carl reluctantly says 'yes' while taking out a wad of bills... he ends up giving the guy the money and the guy thanks him and runs into the bushes with a head first dive. As Carl tries to drive away, his car runs out of gas.We see Carl talking to himself all the way to the gas station. While filling up his gas can, a woman on a scooter pulls in and takes a Polaroid of him bent over filling his gas can. They make small talk and she offers him a ride, to which he says yes. While riding the scooter, she takes another picture, this time of both of them and drives him to his car. Carl seems to be enjoying this somewhat. As they are about to part, he says under his breath if they want to make out and she hears this, walks over and kisses him... after riding away, Carl looks in his hands and sees the Polaroid of the two of them.The next morning (Saturday), he reflects on his adventurous night and he smiles. Just then the phone rings and without hesitation, he picks it up and it's Norman asking if he can come to work, and the new Carl of course says "Yes!" As he leaves his apartment, Tillie bumps into him and asks if he could help her put up some shelves, to which he agrees. After finishing she wants to give him money but she didn't go to the bank so she offers to help him 'release' but he declines and leaves. As he closes the door, it closes on his shirt and he wonders if it's because he broke the covenant with Terrance. When he yanks his shirt free, he falls down the stairs to a waiting dog who is barking viciously at him. So he picks himself up and reluctantly agrees to Tillie's 'payment'. As he's lying on his back in her frilly bed, she begins to go down on him. Carl looks over at her nightstand and sees Tillie put her dentures into a cup of solution. Throughout the blow job, Carl has a wide variation of facial expressions, and although he is disgusted by her age and the fact that she has no teeth, he is loving the feeling.When he finally gets to work, he begins to click 'Yes' to spam emails advertising penis enlargement and ordering a Middle Eastern wife. While he's doing this, a woman approaches his desk with a large box and asks for a loan to start a cake making business. She explains that she makes cakes that resemble the heads of famous people. Carl then mistakes the cake sitting on his desk for Bono, when it is actually Mickey Roderek. With his new found philosophy, he says 'yes' to her loan and then as he's explaining it to Norman, Norman hints at a promotion that he didn't get earlier because he said 'yes to too many projects. Further to this, accepts Normans invitation to dress like a character from Harry Potter.He goes back to the Bar with Peter and Rooney, where Carl apologizes to them, especially Peter, for missing out and being a recluse. Then, Carl begins sharing the 'yes' philosophy, and the guys toast to Carl's effort. Peter offers Carl to start a tab paying for their drinks, and Carl agrees. In the next scene, their table is full of empty glasses and Carl accepts the dare to snort hot sauce. Carl is wasted and as they begin to leave, a woman asks if she can... and before she finishes the sentence, Carl grabs her and passionately kisses her and then spits out the gum she was chewing. Her boyfriend then comes over and Carl goes into a monologue about how beautiful girls deserve to go to a Ball and the two end up fighting in the alley. Carl gets completely beat up and wakes up the next day on the floor of the bathroom with his legs wrapped around the toilet.The next day we see a montage of Carl saying yes to a guy who wants to start a fertilizer business and taking the flyer from the guy to see the band, to taking guitar lessons, to taking Korean language lessons, and Flying lessons (okay, all of these are important later). After seeing him do take guitar lessons, flying lessons, and taking Korean classes, he shows up at the club to see the band and they are a weird psychedelic, kind of campy throw back band (two members wearing seahorse hats) and there are about 6 regulars who come to watch them perform and the lead singer is... Scooter girl from the park! (Her name is Allison, played by Zooey Deschanel) After the show, he offers her a drink but she says no because she has a yoga/jogging/photography group she leads (she seems like a free spirit) and so Carl walks her to her scooter and accepts an invite to the group, which meets at 6am. That night as he sets his alarm and turns off the light, Rooney calls and asks if he wants to join them on an all-nighter with multiple cases of Red Bull, which of course Carl says Yes.The next morning at the jogging group, a car screeches in and out jumps Carl pepped up on Red Bull and saying goodbye to Lee, who is an Asian male Registered Nurse. He attends the group and he goes on a love rant about Red Bull and Allison mentions that there's a hard crash with those things but Carl doesn't care and takes off jogging and taking pictures at the same time... the group is having a hard time keeping up until they see Carl crashed on the ground holding his camera... the group then start taking pictures of him. After the group is done, we see Carl and Allison talking and it's revealed that a guy dumped Allison when things got too serious and there's an obvious spark.We then cut to a funny scene where Carl is having lunch with Peter and his new Middle Eastern bride Faranoosh (Anna Khaja) and they whisper about Allison even though Faranoosh can hear... Lucy then shows up and is disappointed that no one can help her with her bridal shower so Peter asks Carl and of course he agrees even with a 'look' from Faranoosh.At the bridal store, a surly Korean woman Soo Mi is helping them and Carl then engages her in a conversation as to why she is unhappy (in Korean) and she tells him that she sees all these couples but she can't find anyone... just then a man comes in shouting in Korean that a man is standing on the ledge ready to commit suicide... Carl springs into action and the Suicide man (great cameo by Luis Guzman) seems to be on his last string and instead of talking him down, Carl hesitates and asks Suicide man to hold on and we see him go and tune a guitar and he comes back and sings "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind... and sings him down from the ledge... The whole crowd was watching and joining in the singing...We see a door and a knock and Norman opens it dressed like Ronald Weasley and Carl is there with Allison (Harry Potter and Hermione Granger) and they see everyone from a guy wearing a Hagrid costume to a guy with a full blown Dobby the Elf costume and mask (for all the character, please see spoiler for the Harry Potter movies) and seems like a great party with them watching all the Harry Potter movies (and Norman reciting line for line with the movie). Afterwards, Allison lets Carl drive her scooter and he ends up taking her to the Hollywood Bowl (concert hall) and they sneak in and he starts to sing a Beatles tune and they make out and then sit in the stands and talk about Allison's band and stuff... they really connect here and are caught by an old guard... as the guard tells them to Stop, Carl does and when Allison says lets go, he does and this goes back and forth 'til he says, he can't please everyone!The next morning at work, Carl now has a line of people waiting to seek a loan and Norman tells him an executive is here from the Head Office and that they may be in trouble for saying yes to all those loans... Before going up, he sees Lee (the Registered Nurse) in his office and having an idea that he may be fired, Carl approves Lee's loan for a Ducati Motorcycle and heads upstairs (Important Later). The bank executive seems like a hard ass about these small loans but mentions that people are so grateful, 98% of them are making good on their payments and the bank is making lots of money... and so Carl gets the promotion to the Board room and Norman does not, although Norman was the manager who approved Carl to do these...We now see Carl at the airport and he runs into Stephanie and her boyfriend on their way to Tahiti, where his family owns 100 acres (seems like a pompous rich guy, who corrects Stephanie about it being a small piece of land). Stephanie mentions how he saw Carl on the news about saving the Suicide mans life and asks where he is going and he replies he and Allison are just traveling wherever and as they leave, she glances back at him...At the airline counter, they just ask for tickets on the next boarding flight and it's to... Lincoln, Nebraska. So they go and visit a museum of telephones, watching a University of Nebraska College Football game (face and body paint! and Peter, Rooney and Lucy see him at the game...) and end up walking on a gravel road and when it starts raining, they take shelter in a barn and she reveals she's in love with him and suggest they move in together and before saying yes, he pauses, which she notices but they hug with him in deep thought.At the airport, they try to fly again but then are detained by the FBI who have been tracking them since he made the initial flight to Nebraska and they ask they begin to interrogate him asking him why he gave a loan to a fertilizer business man, why he's taking Korean lessons (North Korea connection), why he's taking flying lessons and why he was only married for 6 months... all in ear shot of Allison... he calls for his lawyer, Peter who explains that he's following a new philosophy of saying Yes to everything and Allison hears this and thinks that's why he paused because he had to and not wanted to see her and be with her... she leaves him behind and breaks up with Carl.Back home, Carl gets a call from Stephanie who says her boyfriend left and asks him to come over, to which he does and while explaining what happens, she starts to kiss him and she asks him to stay... but he says No! As he is leaving, bad stuff starts happening and he wonders if it's because he broke the covenant... He tries to get Allison back but she tells him to go jump off a bridge and he does by bungee jumping. As he is hanging upside down, he gets a call from the Bank executive telling him to close down some branches including his old one, so he visits Norman who is having a '300' themed party and give him the bad news and Norman breaks down crying... Carl then gets home to his answering machine only to be reminded that he has to throw Lucy a bridal shower and it's the 11th hour... it looks like he's about to 'fess up to them when they walk into the bar and are greeted by a multitude of people... turns out that Carl called up all his loan favors and asked them to come to the bridal shower... at the shower, he hooks up Norman with Soo Mi, Rooney ends up agreeing to do a favor for Tillie (knowing how good she is...) and Carl and Peter talk about things and how Allison doesn't want him back and realizes that maybe he broke the covenant... so he hurries out and sneaks into the back of Terrance the Guru's car (who is just coming out of a conference) and as Terrance beings to drive away, he is startled by Carl and steps on the gas into traffic and the car is hit...In the hospital, Carl is confronted by Terrance and Terrance says that since he was being so negative, he had to do something so that he doesn't look bad... but the Yes part was all a principle and that Carl needs to show discernment in what he says yes to! With that note, Carl storms away wanting to see Allison and Rooney tells him it's 5:40am just before her morning class... He bumps into Lee who give him the keys to the Ducati and he takes off for the group... once at the group, he screeches smoke into the air and there's a cool slow motion coming out of the smoke scene and Carl tries to explain everything to Allison including that he doesn't want to move in right now but that he loves her and wants to be with her... this while the group is taking their pictures inappropriately... the movie ends with them kissing.During the end credits: A guy in an SUV is thanking Carl for approving his loan and it's the guy from the beginning who was rejected... Carl and Allison are now suited up with Roller Blades and they go blading down the road on their stomachs a la Olympic Skeleton-ing... and fades to black.
    

Yes Man

The Late Shift


            Drescher plays a Los Angeles florist who discovers that her realtor husband of 18 years (John Michael Higgins) is gay. She struggles with navigating the new parameters of their relationship while re-entering the dating pool.
    

Happily Divorced

Killer Diller

Shimmer Lake

25 Words or Less


            Fred Claus has lived his entire life in his brother's very large shadow. Fred tried, but could hardly live up to the example set by the younger Nicholas, who was just a perfect, well, saint. True to form, Nicholas (a.k.a. Santa Claus) grew up to be the model of giving, while Fred became the polar opposite: a fast-talking repo man who's run out of luck and money. Eventually Fred's bad behaviour catches up with him and he is sent to jail. His only recourse is to turn to his brother. Over Mrs. Claus' objections, Nicholas agrees to help his brother on one condition: that he come to the North Pole and earn the money he needs by working in Santa's Toy Shop. The trouble is that Fred isn't exactly elf material and cut out for creating toys and spreading good cheer. With Christmas fast approaching, Fred could jeopardize the jolliest holiday of the year and ruin Christmas.***********************************************************************************************************************************************************THE FOLLOWING IS NOT COMPOSED BY ME. THIS APPEARS IN ONE OF THE MOVIE SPOILER WEBSITES AND IS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE CALLED 'ILRPinkGirl!'. ITS SO DESCRIPTIVE AND FANTASTIC THAT I DECIDED TO SHARE IT WITH OTHER IMDB USERS. THE TEXT HAS NOT BEEN CHANGED IN ANY WAY AND APPEARS EXACTLY AS WRITTEN BY THE ORIGINAL WRITER.***********************************************************************************************************************************************************The movie begins long ago in a land far, far away with Mother Claus giving birth to a baby, with her husband and son in the background. As the baby is born, the midwife comments on how its the biggest baby shes ever seen. Within a few minutes of his birth, the baby starts giggling and saying, Ho, ho, ho! Mother Claus calls her other son, Fred, over to meet his new brother, who she has decided to name Nick. Mother Claus refers to the new baby as her little Saint Nick, while Fred promises to be the best big brother ever.Over the next few scenes, we see how Nick and Fred develop as people, particularly the development of some Christmas traditions. First, on Nicks birthday, Fred makes a special journal with Nicks name on it as a present. After opening all of his gifts, Nick puts them in a box and tells his family he is going to take them to the homeless boy who lives around the corner, because giving gifts brings him joy. Mother Claus is obviously very pleased with her son, while Fred is angry that Nick is giving away his thoughtful gift. However, as Fred gets upset, Mother Claus says that Fred should learn to be more like his brother, causing Fred to be upset and resent Nick.Since he feels his family does not understand him, Fred often climbs a large tree in the woods, and visits the only person who understands him: a bird named Chirp Chirp living in a birdhouse in the tree. As Fred confides to the bird about his problems, the tree suddenly falls down, crushing the birdhouse and causing Chirp Chirp to leave. It turns out Nick cut down the tree; since Fred liked the tree so much, Nick thought it would be a great idea to bring the tree inside and put gifts underneath. This is clearly the last straw, and causes a permanent rift between Fred and Nick.As we cut to present day, the narrator explains that when Nick became a saint due to all his good deeds, Nick, his spouse, and immediate family became frozen in time, never to age. While we assume Nick has gone on to become the modern-day Santa Claus, we find that Fred now runs a Repo company, and is obviously not well liked. He then goes to see his girlfriend, Wanda, who gets mad at Fred for forgetting that her birthday was tomorrow. She also references that for their anniversary last year he had dropped hints about the Eiffel Tower and having her taking French lessons, only to give a bad gift rather than an implied trip to France. Fred promises that theyll be going to a new hotspot for her birthday (although he did not check out the restaurant, only naming the restaurant he sees on a billboard).The next day, we see that Fred wants to buy a property to open up a gambling facility, but needs to come up with $50,000 by December 22nd to secure the property. To get money, Fred grabs a Santa hat and a tin container and pretends to be working for the Salvation Army to get money. When the real Salvation Army Santas confront him, a comical chase ensues, ending with Freds arrest. Needing $5,000 bail, Fred tries calling Wanda, who doesnt answer because she is waiting for him at her birthday dinner, which turns out to be at a disgusting restaurant where men are watching sumo fights in the middle of the room. The policeman takes pity on Fred and lets him make one more phone call, and he calls his brother Nick. Fred tries to convince Nick to send $55,000, and Nick almost agrees, but Mrs. Claus instructs Nick to use tough love. Therefore, Nick says that hell send $5,000 to bail Fred out of jail, but hell have to come to the North Pole and earn the remaining $50,000.Back at his apartment, Fred is packing up when a boy named Slam comes in, who obviously doesnt have a stable living situation. He talks about wanting a puppy for Christmas, but Fred tells him not to count on others for things. At this time, family services shows up because his home is unfit and he is moved to an orphanage.Soon after, an elf named Willy shows up to take Fred to the North Pole. We learn that Willy is the head elf, and has a crush on Santas Little Helper Charlene, although she cant even remember his name. Once Fred and Willy arrive at the North Pole, Nick welcomes Fred warmly and shows him around, including the naughty/nice room. In this room, it shows a Top Ten List of the 10 most naughty children at any given time. There is also a humungous snow globe in the room, where you can say any persons name and see if theyre being naughty or nice. Fred asks to see Wanda, and we see his girlfriend talking to a guy on the street. The man asks Wanda if she has a boyfriend, and she says no (obviously upset that he stood her up on her birthday), and they agree to have dinner in the near future. Nick shows Fred where hell be working, looking at childrens files and determining if they are naughty or nice.While Fred starts working, Nick and Mrs. Claus are introduced to Clyde, an efficiency expert who has come to assess workings at the North Pole. He says the group has recently dumped the Easter Bunny and has limited the Tooth Fairy to a one person/one tooth rule. Further, if Nick gets three strikes by Christmas, Clyde will shut them down.Back at the workshop, Fred starts getting restless, particularly because the DJ elf keeps playing Here Come Santa Claus on a loop. Fred locks the DJ in a cupboard, puts on some dance music, and convinces the elves to vacate their stations to join in the dance party. Nick, Mrs. Claus, and Clyde walk in on this, and Clyde says that Nicks inability to control his work staff is Strike #1.That night at dinnertime, Nick convinces Fred to come to dinner with their parents and Clyde, and its clear that Fred hasnt spoken to his parents in years. Sitting down to dinner, Freds mother continues to brag about Nick and still says Fred; you should try to be more like your brother. Fred storms out and heads to Frostys Tavern and has a drink with Willy. Willy discusses his lack of self-confidence regarding Charlene, and Fred tries to teach him to dance. Unfortunately, Charlene enters the tavern just as Willy falls on his face, and runs off embarrassed.Later, when everyone else is asleep, we see Clyde sitting in Freds office, using a shredder to destroy many of Freds naughty/nice records. The next morning, while Nick is blaming Fred for the infraction, Clyde walks by, smirking, and says that was Strike #2. Suddenly we hear the Top Ten Naughty List changing, and Fred is shocked to see that Slam is now the #1 naughty kid. We see Slam arguing with the other children in the orphanage, saying the same types of things that Fred has said to Slam earlier. Fred realizes that children arent really naughty, but that theyre just scared or misunderstood. Therefore, Fred starts stamping every file as nice, and no one as naughty. Nick quickly realizes what Fred is doing, and knows that the elves will never make quota if every child is nice and needs toys. Nick and Fred end up in a snowball fight outside, which eventually gets physical and causes Nick to pull out his back.Frustrated with his entire family, Fred leaves the North Pole with his $50,000 as soon as they reach December 22nd, but Nick gives him one present to take with him. Fred waits until he returns home to open the gift, which is a birdhouse with a note that says, Sorry I cut down your tree. Nick. Obviously confused about his feelings towards Nick, Fred enters into a Siblings Anonymous meeting, where he is joined with the brothers of Alec Baldwin, Sylvester Stallone, and Bill Clinton. Eventually, Bills brother makes a nice speech about how, even though he could have ruined everything for his brother who he resented, he chose to be a good brother and let him be successful.Back at the North Pole, it looks like Christmas is lost: Nick can hardly get out of bed because of his back, and Clyde has given Nick Strike #3 because Fred marked everyone as being nice, rather than a mix of naughty and nice. However, 10 hours before the deliveries should start, Fred shows up! It turns out he used the $50,000 to charter a plane, boat, and sled dogs to get back to the North Pole and help out. Without Clydes knowledge, Fred and the elves work tirelessly to make at least one toy for each child, with no reference to if theyre naughty or nice. However, Nick still cant drive the sleigh, and only a Claus can deliver the toys. So Fred decides to be a good brother and deliver the toys. With Willis help in the sleigh (and elves back at the North Pole serving as mission control), Fred starts delivering presents around the world (including giving a puppy to Slam and telling him to care about others), but has to be back to the North Pole before sunrise, otherwise Christmas will be permanently shut down. Fred starts delivering toys, albeit without any gracefulness, with the help of Willy and the other elves. However, halfway through the night, Clyde pulls the electricity at the workshop, so that the elves can no longer give directions to Fred and Willy. While Fred and Willy try to finish delivering the gifts, Nick goes to talk to Clyde, finally realizing why he was holding such a grudge. It turns out that, as a child, Clyde had always wanted a Superman cape, but had always been on the naughty list. Nick gives Clyde the cape he had always wanted, ending the grudge between the two. Clyde tries to turn the electricity back on, but it still wont work, so Fred and Willy are on their own.All the elves wait nervously at Frostys tavern, and are upset to see dawn approaching. But at the last minute, Willy and Fred return, successful in their efforts. Willy, we a renewed confidence, goes to kiss Charlene, who can now remember his name and obviously returns the sentiment. With Christmas saved, Fred returns to Wandas house, but she is still furious with him. However, Fred feels renewed hope when we find out she never met the other guy for dinner, and gives her a present. She opens it to find a teddy bear holding a French flag, implying that he is going to keep his promise to go to France.As the movie concludes, we see how everyone is doing now: Fred and Wanda got back together, and used the sleigh to travel to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower. Charlene and Willy are now happily together. Clyde now works at the North Pole as a consultant, and helps the elves to meet quota without problems. Finally, we see Fred and Wanda meeting with Nick, Mrs. Claus and Mother and Father Claus meeting for dinner, showing that theyve reconciled and come together as a family. As we pan out of the last shot, we see the birdhouse right outside where everyone was having dinner, and see a bluebird landing and chirping happily.
    

John Michael Higgins

John Michael Higgins Movies or Tv Shows (upto Apr 2024) - Watch Online

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