George Carlin's American Dream

Summer of Soul (...Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised)

African American Lives

The One and Only Dick Gregory


            
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Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Still Hates Chris

The Chris Rock Show

Comedian

Madagascar

This Is Stand-Up

Good Hair

Chris Rock: Selective Outrage


            The story continues from the events of the second film. Alex (Ben Stiller) has a nightmare about himself and his friends still stranded in Africa and finding they have all gotten old. He then wakes from his dream on his birthday, and the animals present him with a miniature model of New York City. Alex suggests to Marty (Chris Rock), Melman (David Schwimmer), and Gloria (Jada Pinkett Smith) that they should go to Monte Carlo to get the penguins to fly them back to New York City, which they agree to.In Monte Carlo, the penguins and the two chimpanzees, Mason and Phil, disguised as the King of Versailles, keep winning in gambling until Alex's gang's attempt to reach them blunders and sparks chaos in the Hotel De Paris. The hotel security calls Monaco Animal Control officer Captain Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand) to deal with the animals. But rather than capture them alive, DuBois desires their heads, mainly Alex's, as trophies. A high-speed chase ensues between the relentless DuBois and the animals in a truck driven by the penguins to reach their aircraft that was from the second film. The group departs on the plane, just barely escaping DuBois.In the skies of France, the plane's engines fail and the plane crashes into a suburban rail yard as the authorities close in. They come across a circus train and bang on it, desperately trying to get in. Gia, a jaguar (Jessica Chastain), sees the four zoo animals and Alex is smitten with her upon first sight of her. Seeing their only chance of escape is on the circus train, the four larger animals desperately claim that they are circus animals themselves, which convinces Stefano the sea lion (Martin Short) and Gia to let them in despite the protests of Vitaly the tiger (Bryan Cranston). The animals soon learn from Stefano that they are performing in Rome and London, where they plan to impress a promoter to get them on their first American tour. Before the zoo animals' claim is discredited, the penguins suddenly appear with a deal to purchase the circus themselves, resulting in the pleased departure of all the humans. Meanwhile, King Julien (Sacha Baron Cohen) falls in love with Sonya the bear (Frank Welker) and goes on a city tour across Rome. He accidentally breaks her tricycle, and buys her a motorcycle with the stolen coronation ring of the Pope. Meanwhile the others prepare for the performance at the Colosseum. Unfortunately, to the zoo animals' horror, the circus proves to be so terrible, the angered audience demands refunds, right to going to the point of chasing the circus to the departing train to London.En route to London, the zoo gang is in despair of having wasted their money on the failing circus and not any closer to getting home. Stefano soon reveals to Alex that Vitaly was once their inspiration. Once a professional ring jumper who used to leap through incrementally smaller hoops to excite crowds and was always pushing himself to the limit, his attempt at an impossible jump through a flaming pinkie ring ended in disaster when he burned his fur, which he had coated in extra virgin olive oil in order to slip through the narrow opening, destroying his confidence in his talent and the whole circus suffered by his example. An inspired Alex then has the train make a stop in the Alps and convinces the performers to rework their act to become the opposite of the world-famous human-only Cirque du Soleil as an animal-only lights and acrobatic show.He encourages the animals to try pursuing their ambitions and advises others to change acts they are unsuited for. Similarly the zoo animals are trying out new things too. Heartened by Alex's vision, the zoo animals and the circus animals develop sophisticated acts together and become closer friends in the process, especially Alex and Gia who find themselves falling in love.Meanwhile, DuBois is arrested & detained in Rome after causing problems with the local police officers while chasing the animals out of her jurisdiction, but escapes and researches Alex on the Internet, learning he was the missing lion from the zoo in New York. Once free, DuBois recruits her injured men, inspiring them with the French classic Non, je ne regrette rien, made famous by Édith Piaf, and heads toward the Alps, forcing the animals to proceed to London despite incomplete rehearsals. In London, the troupe prepares for the promoter in the audience, but Vitaly is discovered packing to leave. Despite the tiger's hostility to him, Alex convinces Vitaly to stay by reminding him of how he enjoys performing the impossible and suggests that he uses hair conditioner as a safer lubricant to perform his flaming ring jump. As a result, Vitaly's stunt is performed perfectly, which proves to be the opening of a spectacularly successful show. After the impressed promoter arranges for an American tour, DuBois shows up with a paper showing that Alex was missing. Though the penguins are able to foil DuBois's plan to capture Alex, the lion is forced to confess that the four of them are just zoo animals trying to get home, disappointing the others who feel used by these lying amateurs who could have gotten them killed developing and performing their new acts.Finally, both the ashamed zoo animals and the circus arrive in New York City. However, Gia, Vitaly and Stefano find that even after learning the truth about Alex's gang, they are ready to forgive their new friends without whom their lives and performances feel woefully incomplete. Likewise, the zoo group and Julien finally arrive at the gates of the closed Central Park Zoo, only to realize that their adventure has changed them too much to return to captivity and that they were "home" when they joined the circus. The zoo animals resolve to return to the circus and reconcile with their new friends, but they are then tranquilized and captured by DuBois. The zoo staff, delighted by Alex's reappearance, thank DuBois, incorrectly believing that she was trying to return the missing animals. Unnoticed, Julien manages to reach the circus (despite being darted by DuBois) and the penguins realize that the group had been ambushed. Upon learning about the zoo animals' plight, Gia and Vitaly convince the circus animals to rescue their friends and they set out for the zoo, performing aboard a flying circus, with the rescue mission dubbed "Operation: Afro Circus Rescue."Meanwhile at the zoo, Alex awakens to find that he along with Marty, Melman, and Gloria are in their enclosures, surrounded by tall chain-link fences. DuBois steps on stage to receive a million-dollar check of appreciation from the zoo, but at the same time secretly loads a poison-filled dart into a gun which she hides inside a foam finger in preparation to kill Alex. The circus animals arrive in time to stop her and a massive brawl occurs where the circus uses all of what they had developed as part of their revamped act. As the group tries to leave, the insane DuBois attempts to kill Stefano, who is stranded at the zoo. However, Alex saves Stefano and all the animals then defeat DuBois and escape.Heartened by this valiant demonstration of their new friends' love, Alex and his friends decide to join the circus permanently. With the circus reunited, the animals all happily proceed with their American tour. Meanwhile, thanks to Skipper, DuBois and her men find themselves, oddly enough just like Alex and his friends in the first film, inside shipping crates on a cargo ship bound for the island of Madagascar.
    

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Dying Laughing

Eat Drink Laugh: The Story of the Comic Strip

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Dirty Daddy: The Bob Saget Tribute


            Nino Brown (Wesley Snipes) is an up-and-coming drug pusher. His brother and right-hand-man, Gee Money (Allen Payne) introduces Nino to a new drug: freebased "crack" cocaine, which Gee says is cheaper to produce and more potent than regular cocaine and is taking the poor neighborhoods of New York by storm. Nino and Gee decide to take over an entire apartment building in Harlem called The Carter for their base of operations. He and Gee and Duh Man (Bill Nunn) go about getting cooperation through violence and coercion. Together they drive out any protesting tenants and other crime lords, terrorizing and shooting them openly on the streets in full view of local witnesses. The name their organization the CMB for "Cash Money Brothers."After a few years Nino had expanded his empire and crack addiction has reached epidemic proportions. Detective Stone (Mario Van Peebles) wants to bring Nino to justice, but no one on the police force is crazy enough to go against Nino. Stone decides to call in Scotty Appleton (Ice-T), a plain clothes cop who is currently serving a suspension for shooting an unarmed suspect who ran during a failed drug deal. Stone convinces Scotty to infiltrate Nino's organization, with the help of another burned-out cop, Nick Paretti (Judd Nelson).Frankie Needles (Anthony DeSando) visits Nino to deliver a message from the mob - Nino isn't paying the percentage any more. Nino sends him away scornfully, and Frankie advises Don Armeteo (John Aprea), the mob boss. Meanwhile, Scotty and Paretti watch Nino giving out food to the poor, including Pookie (Chris Rock), the young addict Scotty had shot. Scotty recruits Pookie, weaning him off crack and rehabilitating him. Pookie obtains a low-level job working for Gee Money at the Carter. Pookie later explains how to get into the hotel and the setup for distributing crack. Park (Russell Wong) has some hi-tech toys for Pookie to surveil the premises, including a camera hidden in a belt buckle.Nino is celebrating his success and expressing his friendship with Gee Money. However, he has eyes for Gee Money's girlfriend, Uniqua (Tracy Camilla Johns). Nino's neglected girlfriend, Selina (Michael Michele) becomes jealous.Pookie gets inside the Carter, doing menial jobs at first. However Gee Money doesn't trust him fully. Pookie lands a job in the drug distribution area, but starts sneaking drugs and becomes addicted again, acting obnoxiously. Gee Money finds the surveillance device and realizes he's a plant. Gee Money evacuates the area and sets explosives on Pookie's dead body to destroy the building. Scotty and his men enter and try and find evidence and defuse the bomb attached to Pookie with only a few seconds to spare.Nino is enraged, and threatens Gee Money. Scotty blames himself for Pookie's death, and vows to continue the investigation, despite Stone's orders. Paretti agrees to help. They enlist Frankie to arrange a meet with Gee Money, posing as big-time buyers who want to cut a side deal with Gee. Gee himself has become addicted to crack and talks to Nino on the phone about how Scotty's product is of a greater purity than what they sold for years. Nino decides to accept the deal and tells Gee that if anything goes wrong, he'll personally kill him.Scotty gets in with Nino, even protecting him from an irate neighborhood man (Bill Cobbs). He plants seeds of doubt into Nino's mind about Gee Money. One night Scotty and Nino hang out on the roof talking about how they both came up. Nino tells Scotty about how he joined his first gang: the gang leaders ordered him to kill someone with one hitch; it had to be a total stranger. Nino, high on coke, killed a woman walking home at night with a bag of groceries. Scotty realizes it was his own mother. Scotty decides to hold his fury in check until he and his crew can bust Nino for trafficking and higher crimes.Paretti breaks into Nino's safe during a wedding Nino and Scotty attend and finds financial records on disk. The Italian mob shows up at the wedding disguised as caterers & tries to kill Nino -- Scotty, who has a clear shot at Nino during the gunfight, watches as Nino uses a child as a shield to escape. Keisha is killed during the attack, and a war between Nino's Cash Money Brothers (CMB) and Don Armeteo's gang erupts.Scotty and Paretti meet with Stone and arrange to set Nino up. During the deal, Kareem (Christopher Williams) identifies Scotty, remembering Scotty shooting Pookie on the street, and a shootout ensues. Park is killed, then Duh Man, and Paretti saves Scotty's life.Gee Money and Nino meet later, and Gee accuses Nino of forgetting their friendship. Nino regretfully kills him. Scotty and Paretti track him down in his apartment and attack him, Scotty forcing Nino & himself out of a second story window. Scotty beats him up and arrests him at the feet of the old man who'd threatened Nino. While he has Nino pinned to the sidewalk, ready to shoot him to death, he tells him that he knows Nino murdered his mother. Paretti talks Nino down, preventing him from killing the gangster.Nino stands trial and to the astonishment of the courtroom, accuses Kareem of being the head of CMB. He pleads to a lighter sentence, but is killed by the Old Man as he leaves the courtroom. Scotty and Paretti leave, satisfied, and the credits roll after a title card explaining that gangsters like Nino exist in every major city in America and that the crack epidemic will only get worse.
    

New Jack City


            Back in his prime, Paul "Wrecking" Crewe (Adam Sandler) was the quarterback everyone loved. But when accused of shaving points off a football game, he was out of the picture and hasn't been seen in action since. One night when his obnoxious girlfriend tries to get him to attend her party while he's in the middle of watching a football game he tricks her into going into the closet for a "gift" he had stashed away for her and locks her inside. Then he takes her car out for a drive (even though he's extremely drunk and paranoid). He's later stopped by the police, but proceeds with his wreckless driving anyway, only to end up in a huge pile up that ends with the car being completely wrecked and surrounded by thousands of policeman all over television! Crewe is later sent to Allenville State Penitentiary where he meets the gruesome guardsmen headed by Captain Knauer (William Fichtner) and commanded by the sleazy Warden Hazen (James Cromwell). After spending a week in the hotbox, Hazen recruits him to help out with the guards' football team. But despite Crewe's previous refusal, he decides to organize a "fixed game" in which the prison inmates [under Crewe's leadership along with the helpful support of Caretaker (Chris Rock) and legendary football coach Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds)] will organize a football team of their own for a game of football against the guards. This is the moment every convict has been waiting for: a free shot against the guards. The one chance for one day to take a stand in the midst of a contact sport and fight back! Now the guards are about to get something they have had coming to them for a long time: Payback by the inmates! Of course, Crewe dosen't expect his boys to stand a chance against Hazen's Guards. But come game day, it takes a valuable lesson in self-respect and pride to learn that in order to get your second chance, you have take it like there's no tommorow or spend the next twenty-five years in Allenville Prison.
    

The Longest Yard


            Comedian Andre Allen (Chris Rock) and reporter Chelsea Brown (Rosario Dawson) are walking down a New York City street discussing the changing times. Andre quips that people will praise Obama if something good happens in America, and then blame him if the opposite happens. Chelsea thinks that somewhere down the line, there will be a Latina lesbian president, and maybe even an Asian president or another handicapped president. Andre then comments that black people still can't get a taxi in the city. He hails a cab and one instantly pulls up to him.A Q&A session is held at a university with Charlie Rose talking about Andre's history. He has had a successful career as a stand-up comedian before hitting it big with his hit film franchise, "Hammy The Bear", in which he plays a cop in a bear suit alongside Luis Guzman. Now, everybody yells "Hammy!" to Andre whenever they see him on the streets. He has also been in trouble with the law and is a recovering alcoholic. He is currently releasing his foray into serious films with the movie, "Uprize", which follows the Haitian Revolution. Andre is also engaged to reality TV star Erica Long (Gabrielle Union). His fans are most curious to know when he'll do another Hammy movie or if he'll ever do stand-up again, and less interested in his new movie.Frustrated, Andre walks with his bodyguard Silk, (J.B. Smoove) and expresses his dismay with the response to "Uprize". Andre has major beef with a New York Times critic named James Nielson. He speaks to his agent Charles (Kevin Hart), who was always against the project from the beginning.Andre meets with Chelsea to begin the interview. They first stop off at her apartment to get her recorder. Andre sees a Cinderella book on the counter and also meets Chelsea's mother and daughter. Her mother shows off a magazine to Andre, particularly an article about how women can attract men. Chelsea snatches it from her since it's something she wrote under a pseudonym since she doesn't want to use her real name for fluff stories.The two then leave and commence the interview in Andre's limo. Chelsea asks some questions that bug Andre, like why he isn't funny anymore. She inquires about his alcoholism since she too has been sober for four years. Andre recalls his lowest point when he was in Houston in 2003. This is where he met Jazzy Dee (Cedric The Entertainer), a freewheeling charlatan that claims he is the go-to guy in the area for drugs and alcohol. Andre joins Jazzy at a club where they meet women that Jazzy claims he can get to go home with them. Later that night, Andre is visited by two voluptuous women and proceeds to order room service for them before smoking weed and having sex. Andre is enjoying himself until Jazzy comes busting in and gets in on the action for himself before ejaculating on half the mattress. Andre tells Chelsea that he was now repulsed by these women. As he was lying in bed shamefully, the two women returned to collect $1,000 each that Jazzy promised them if they went to have sex with Andre. Andre says they're not getting anything, and they both cry "Rape!", getting Andre arrested. From then on, he chose not to touch another drink.The limo gets hit by a cab on the streets, prompting everyone but the driver to leave. Andre and Chelsea ditch Silk, who Andre reveals is one of his oldest friends, and continue going around the city. Andre stops by a jewelry store to pick up the rings for the wedding, only to find that Erica exchanged the rings and got another piece of jewelry for herself. Andre calls her up and she tells him that it was her producers that did it because the rings need to look nice on TV. Andre asks Chelsea what her thoughts would be if she were in this situation. We learn that one reason Andre is with Erica is because she influenced him in staying sober.Andre and Chelsea stop at the apartment of some of Andre's old friends (played by Tracy Morgan, Jay Pharaoh, Leslie Jones, and Michael Che) and his ex-girlfriend (Sherri Shepherd). Chelsea interviews each of them individually, learning that Andre's ex regrets breaking up with him after seeing how famous he'd gotten, while the other friends say that Andre wasn't really funny when he started off in stand-up and isn't really that funny now. The group sits together and chats about their top five favorite rappers, though they include a 6th one in their line-ups as well.At different points, we see Andre going to different radio stations and shows like Opie and Anthony or Jim Norton to promote "Uprize". He is told by one radio host to put some "stank" on his recording, prompting Andre to yell profanities. At another point, he attends a press conference for the film with fellow actors Taraji P. Henson and Gabourey Sidibe, among others. Once again, everybody keeps asking Andre when there will be another Hammy movie, to his chagrin.Chelsea makes a stop at a hotel to meet her boyfriend Brad (Anders Holm) for his birthday. Brad arrives with another guy named Ryan (Matthew Wilkas). Chelsea sees that Ryan is wearing a shirt that she got for Brad, and that Ryan is acting dodgy. She pieces it together and realizes that Brad is gay and cheating on her with Ryan. She and Andre leave and stop in a liquor store. Chelsea realizes the signs were there but she didn't want to accept it. As we see in a flashback, Brad would continuously ask Chelsea to stick her finger in his ass during intercourse, until that was the only thing he wanted to do. During a dinner with friends, Brad made a rude joke about Chelsea having a bad credit score, so later that night before make-up sex, Brad is on all fours in bed ready to get a finger in the ass, when Chelsea instead decides to take a tampon and pour hot sauce on it before sticking it in there. Andre laughs about the situation, calling Chelsea naive over how she handles it. She is angry and insults his movie, and the two end up kissing.They go to a club bathroom and fool around before deciding not to continue. Andre leaves the bathroom first and asks Chelsea to use her phone to make a call since his phone died. As he goes through the phone, he sees that Chelsea gets an e-mail from her editor. It asks when she'll send the next James Nielson review. The truth hits Andre and he is devastated. He gives Chelsea back her phone and is angry with her for lying to him. He admits to her that he felt he was never funny unless he was drunk or high, and now that he's transitioning, it scares him. He leaves Chelsea.Andre goes to a supermarket and eats whatever he's shopping for. He grabs a few cases of beer and goes to pay (after sneaking one for himself). A fan comes up and asks for a photo but Andre declines. He then sees a poster of Hammy The Bear, except it's for a beer brand (Hammy the Beer). Andre snaps and destroys the stand before the cops arrive and haul him out.In jail, Andre calls Erica, who is fuming over the arrest, mainly because of how it will look for her image. She tells Andre that this piece of fame is all she has since she thinks she has no other talent, and she believes Andre owes her for countless bits of oral sex, since the time would come when Andre would do something he didn't want to do for her. Erica's manager Benny (Romany Malco) takes the phone and tells Andre to go to his bachelor party for good press and then fly out for the wedding.Andre is bailed out by the Silk the bodyguard. They go to a strip club for a bachelor party with a theme based on (what else) Hammy The Bear. There, Andre hangs out with Jerry Seinfeld, Adam Sandler, and Whoopi Goldberg. They all give him different views on marriage and sex, while also joking with him. Andre also runs into Chelsea, who wants to make it up to him and invites him to follow her.Andre, Chelsea, and the bodyguard go to the Comedy Cellar where Andre gets up onstage and performs stand-up for the first time in years. He turns out to still be very funny, and the crowd loves him. After the performance, Andre says he feels insane. He tells Chelsea that he got inspired to go back after being in jail and talking to DMX, who told Andre that he didn't want to keep rapping and actually wanted to sing something else (even though he turns out to be a bad singer). They drop Chelsea off at her place, where she and Andre share one last kiss before departing. Andre asks her her top five rappers, which she lists off, including a sixth option.While driving away, Silk tells Andre that he should have gone after Chelsea, then asks him to check the gift bag from the party. Andre finds a bunch of random items, like a scented candle and a bottle of vodka. Then he pulls out a slipper (like Cinderella). Andre changes his mind, and Silk smiles a tiny smile.
    

Top Five

The Aristocrats


            Frank Detorre is a widowed slovenly zookeeper at the Sucat Memorial Zoo in Rhode Island. Much to the frustration of his young daughter, Shane , he eats compulsively unhealthy and has minimal concern for germs or disease. While trying to eat a hard-boiled egg with mayonnaise and salt, it is stolen from him by a chimpanzee. He gets it back, but not before it falls into the filth of the chimp's habitat. When Shane is disgusted by him about to eat it he uses the "ten second rule" as a justification for the unsanitary act.Inside Frank's body, Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones, an agent of the Frank PD, is an adventure-seeking white blood cell with a good sense of humor. He is a rebel cop, frequently disobeying authority to do what he thinks is right. He is often mocked by his fellow cops due to his rebellious nature. He has been relocated to the mouth to fight against germs entering the body via ingestion after he induced Frank to vomit all over Shane's science and P. E. teacher, Mrs. Boyd at the school's science fair. This was considered a false alarm because he had been the only one to suspect an incoming pathological threat from the raw oyster Frank had eaten from one of the displays. After several newcomer germs, believed to be gingivitis, hijack a "squad car" in the mouth, Osmosis and another officer in an FPD helicopter, are pulled into the lungs by a massive yawn while in pursuit. After the germs evade capture and pass into "Immunity's" jurisdiction, Osmosis disobeys direct orders as he pursues the germ on foot and accidentally triggers a major cramp in Frank's leg.Meanwhile, Mayor Phlegmming is preparing for re-election, campaigning with the promise of more junk food. His reckless policies are largely responsible for Frank's deteriorating health, but his re-election hopes are complicated by the arrival of Thrax, a deadly virus that came with the hard-boiled egg. In an attempt to cover up the severity of the situation, Phlegmming "tells" Frank to take a cold-suppressant pill. The pill, Drixenol "Drix" Koldreliff, arrives in the body and covers Frank's infected throat with a disinfectant to soothe the irritation. Osmosis is assigned as Drix's partner, much to their mutual chagrin. Later on, an influenza virus tells Osmosis and Drix about Thrax's plot to masquerade as a common cold while at the same time plotting to kill Frank with a high fever. Osmosis and Drix confront Thrax in a club in one of Frank's zits, where Drix launches a grenade of medication at Thrax and his goons, popping the skin blemish, killing nearly all of Thrax's men, and seemingly ending the virus's siege. The pop of the zit further aggravates Mrs. Boyd, when Frank comes to apologize for his earlier action of vomiting on her at the science fair.Thrax survives the explosion and after killing off his remaining henchmen, launches a lone assault on Frank's hypothalamus gland (the portion of the brain that controls the temperature) by disabling its self-regulative capabilities. There, he uses his virus-infecting claw to destroy the protoplasmic barrier around the gland and takes a DNA bead. Soon after, the mayor's secretary, Leah Estrogen, discovers his sabotage and alerts security. Thrax manages to evade them, taking Leah hostage and escapes from the brain to the mouth. Meanwhile, the temperature continues to rise, causing chaos to break out all over the City of Frank. Frank is taken to the hospital under the influence of Thrax's attack. Ozzy and Drix rescue Leah and confront Thrax, who leaves Frank's mouth after causing confusion using pollen. Osmosis and Thrax fight on one of Shane's eyeballs and end up on Shane's false eyelashes after she blinks, which she was wearing atop her natural ones on her way to a hiking trip.During the fight, Thrax threatens to kill Shane, but Ozzy causes him to knock Shane's false eyelash into a vessel of alcohol below, where he dissolves. During this time, the situation becomes even more dangerous when the temperature hits 108 degrees Fahrenheit, causing Frank to go into cardiac arrest. Just as doctors give up, Frank is revived when Ozzy returns to his body with one of Shane's tears with the missing hypothalamus chromosome. Ozzy is reinstated into "Immunity" with full privileges, he and Drix are declared heroes with the Chief of Police giving Ozzy his job back. Having survived Thrax's attack, Frank has begun to improve his diet and personal hygiene.Meanwhile, Phlegmming has lost his position as mayor and is now a janitor in the bowels. He accidentally ejects himself from the body via the rectum by touching a button that is important and marked "DO NOT TOUCH!" which triggers Frank's farting.
    

Osmosis Jones


            Betty (Renee Zellweger), is a kind and considerate diner waitress living in Kansas City, Kansas. She is a fan of the daytime soap opera 'A Reason to Love'. She has no idea that her sneaky husband, Del (Aaron Eckhart), a car salesman, is having an affair with his secretary and that he intends to leave Betty in order to pursue a relationship with the secretary. She also doesn't know that her husband supplements his income by selling drugs out of the car dealership.When Betty calls to leave a message about borrowing a Buick LeSabre for her birthday, her husband tells Betty to take a different car as the LeSabre has stolen drugs hidden in the trunk.Two hitmen (Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock) show up at the house with Betty's husband. The hitmen torture Del into revealing that he has hidden the drugs in the trunk of a car but are not successful in getting him to tell which car it is. Betty witnesses the murder and experiences a fugue state, escaping the reality of murder into the comforting fantasy of the soap opera. In her mind, she assumes the identity of one of the characters in the daytime drama, a nurse.That evening, Sheriff Ballard (Pruit Taylor Vance), Roy Ostery (Crispin Glover) a local reporter, and the police are examining the crime scene while Betty calmly packs a suitcase. She seems oblivious to the murder, even with the investigation going on right in her house. At the police station, a psychiatrist examines her.Betty spends the night at her friend's house in a nearby town, sleeping in a child's bedroom with the innocence of a little girl. In the middle of the night, she suddenly gets in her car and drives off. Betty's next stop is a bar in Arizona where the lady bartender talks about her inspiring vacation in Rome, and Betty tells her that she's engaged to a famous surgeon (describing the lead character from 'A Reason to Love'... not the actor who portrays him, but the character himself).Meanwhile, the two hitmen are trying to find her, as they have finally realized that she must have the car with the drugs. As they search, Charlie (Freeman) begins falling in love with his image of Betty, to the consternation of Wesley (Rock).The next day, Betty arrives in Los Angeles and tries to get a job as a nurse while looking for her long-lost "ex-fiance". She is turned down, due to lack of a resume or references, but does manage to get a job in a local pharmacy due to her help in saving the life of the victim of a drive-by shooting.Despite an injunction against "touching" the patients, Betty becomes popular with them and their families. She ends up living with Rosa (Tia Texada), a Hispanic legal secretary who has had a series of painful love affairs and offers to help Betty find her surgeon friend. However, Rosa learns that "David" is a just soap opera character, and she goes to the pharmacy window to confront her. Betty just thinks her friend is jealous and is impervious to the revelation.Meanwhile, a lawyer has an idea and supplies tickets to a charity function where George (Greg Kinnear), the actor portraying David, will be making an appearance. Betty meets George at the function whom he addresses to his soap opera character of David. George is inclined to dismiss her as an over-imaginative fan, but something about her compels him to walk back and talk to her some more. He begins to think that Betty is a struggling actress determined to get a part in the soap opera, so he decides to play along. After three hours of her "staying in character," he takes her home.George begins falling in love with her and he and his producer decide to bring her onto the show as a new character: Nurse Betty. When Betty arrives on set, she finally falls out of her fantasy world and back into real life as seeing the inner workings of a television show snaps her back into reality. After two failed takes, she realizes that she is on a set and that the all people around her whom she thought were real are just actors portraying characters. George confronts her for being a "crazy person" and Betty walks out of the studio.Now recovered, Betty begins to tell Rosa what happened, when the two hitmen, Charlie and Wesley, come into the house to kill them as not to leave any loose ends when they discover the car containing the drugs outside. The killers are in turn interrupted by the reporter Roy Ostery and Sheriff Ballard from Betty's home town who have also tracked her down and a hostage situation develops.When Wesley is distracted by Roy who turns on the TV set to watch the soap opera, Ballard pulls out a gun hidden in an ankle holster and shoots and kills Wesley. At this point, Charlie flees to the bedroom with Betty where he reveals to her that Wesley is his son. Charlie, rather than being arrested, decides not to kill Betty, and commits suicide by attemping to escape and in so doing is apparently gunned down by the police.Betty decides to stay in Los Angeles and try to rebuild her life. She is offered a job on the show by George, and she accepts. She appears in 63 episodes and then takes a vacation in Rome. Betty plans to pursue nursing as a career and decides to try out a relationship with George, while her former roommate, Rosa, begins a relationship with Roy.
    

Nurse Betty

Two Days in New York


            In 1978, five friends win their junior high basketball championship. During the celebration, their coach "Buzzer" (Blake Clark) encourages them to live their lives in a similar way to how they played the game.30 years later, the five friends have since separated. Lenny Feder (Adam Sandler) is a high powered Hollywood talent agent who is married to Roxanne (Salma Hayek), a fashion designer. Together, they have two sons, Greg and Keith, and one daughter Becky, all of whom have become spoiled, much to Lenny's annoyance. Eric Lamonsoff (Kevin James) is now a co-owner of a lawn furniture company (but he says he is just to impress his friends) who is married to Sally (Maria Bello). Together, they have one daughter, Donna and one son Bean, who still breastfeeds despite being four years old, much to Eric's chagrin. Kurt McKenzie (Chris Rock) is a stay at home father who is married to Deanne (Maya Rudolph), the primary breadwinner of the family. Together, they have a son, Andre, and a daughter, Charlotte, while Deanne is pregnant with a third child, and her mother, Ronzoni, lives with them as well. All of them harass Kurt for not being more useful. Rob Hilliard (Rob Schneider) is a thrice divorced pacifist vegan married to Gloria (Joyce Van Patten), who is 30 years older than him. Marcus Higgins (David Spade) has become a single womanizer.When they learn that their coach has died, they all return to New England with their families for the funeral. Lenny rents the lake house for the 4th of July weekend for his friends to stay at, but Lenny can't stay for the whole weekend because Roxanne has a fashion show in Milan. While at the lake house, Lenny is annoyed that their kids would rather play video games than spend time outdoors, so he and the others force their kids to spend more time outside while at the house.At a local restaurant, Lenny runs into his old nemesis Dickie Bailey (Colin Quinn), who works as a cook there. Dickie is still upset at Lenny because he allegedly had his foot out of bounds when he made the long-ago game winning shot and challenges him and his friends to a rematch, but Lenny declines, declaring it a waste of time. During dinner, the group discusses spreading the coache's ashes in the morning, but Lenny says he can't be there because of Roxanne's fashion show. Roxanne angrily storms off because Lenny painted her negatively. She allows him to spread the ashes, but demands they leave early the following morning.In the morning, the five guys row out to an island to spread the ashes. When Rob is spreading the ashes, he breaks down and tells the guys that he screwed up his previous marriages and that he's nervous about meeting his daughters who are coming. When they get back to the house, they finally meet Rob's daughters, two of them, Jasmine and Amber, who seem too gorgeous to be Rob's, and one, Bridget, who very closely resembles him. To calm his nerves, the five guys play a game called "Arrow Roulette", in which an arrow is shot up into the air and the last person who runs away wins. Rob wins, but the arrow lands in his foot.That evening, when Roxanne is packing, Becky's tooth falls out, but Roxanne is too busy to notice and she tells her that she'll put a dollar under her pillow later. When Becky asks why she would do it instead of the Tooth Fairy, Roxanne tells Lenny that she's worried that she ruined Becky's childhood. When Lenny hears his kids supposedly talking on their cellphones, he comes into their bedroom to find them actually talking on "cup phones" with the other kids. Happy that the kids are starting to have the same kind of fun he did at their age, he asks everyone to install cup phones around the house. Roxanne then tells Becky through the cup phone the truth about the Tooth Fairy.In the morning while packing the car, Roxanne sees all the kids having fun down by the lake and decides that they can't leave the lake house. Happy with his wife's new attitude, Lenny decides they should head to a waterpark for a day. There, Bean learns to drink milk out of a carton, while Marcus flirts constantly with Jasmine and Amber, much to Rob's dismay. The group run into Dickie again, this time with one of his friends Wiley (Steve Buscemi), who ends up in the hospital after a zip line accident.Back out the house, Deanne becomes suspicious of Kurt when she sees him spending time with Rita, Lenny's nanny. That evening, the adults spend time together drinking and dancing, while reminiscing about their pasts. In the morning, Rob suspects that Marcus had sex with either Jasmine or Amber or both of them and confronts him. Jasmine and Amber assure him that he didn't and Marcus assures him that he never would. Roxanne then confronts Lenny about the fact that he canceled their Milan plane reservations before the funeral behind her back. Lenny claims that he felt their time at the lake house was necessary because their kids were becoming too spoiled, but was unsure if Roxanne would go along with it. He tells her he won't lie to her again. Deanne confronts Kurt about supposedly flirting with Rita. Kurt assures her that he wasn't flirting with her, but he enjoyed having an actual conversation with her because he doesn't feel like he gets that with Deanne. Deanne offers to take him out on more dates. Eric then admits to the group that he isn't co-owner of a lawn furniture company and that he was laid off two months ago. He just didn't want everyone to think of him as a failure. Lenny resolves to offer Eric an investment opportunity. Gloria then tells everyone that despite their recent hostility, she senses love between everyone.The group then head off to a 4th of July barbecue, where they are once again challenged by Dickie and his friends to a rematch of the basketball game. Wiley, in a massive body cast, had escaped intensive care to watch. Rob suggests that their coach would want them to take the challenge and despite everyone's being out of shape and Rob's injury, they agree to a game. The game is close, but most of the players get too tired to continue, leaving only Lenny and Dickie on the court. They bring out their sons to continue playing. When Lenny has the chance to make the game winning shot, he deliberately misses and allows Dickie to win, giving him a sense of victory. Lenny and the others take the loss in stride.While watching the fireworks, a drunken Marcus decides to play another game of Arrow Roulette, causing everyone to run away, except for Wiley, who can't move, and the arrow lands in his foot and he passes out as the movie ends.
    

Grown Ups

Misty Green


            Aaron (Chris Rock) and Ryan (Martin Lawrence) are two brothers whom are totally different in personalities and views on life. Aaron, the older son, is a well-mannered and hard working young man, married to Michelle (Regina Hall), and still living at his father's home. When their father dies, it is up to Aaron to organize the funeral and give the eulogy. Aaron and Michelle have been trying to buy their own home and have children but have been unsuccessful. Aaron envies Ryan because Ryan is a successful writer, while he has not had his novel published, and resents his brother because he would rather spend money on a first class ticket from New York to Los Angeles than help him pay for the funeral expenses.Meanwhile, Aaron and Ryan's cousin, Elaine (Zoe Saldana) and her fiancee Oscar (James Marsden) are on their way to pick up her brother Jeff before heading to the funeral. To ease Oscar's nerves, she gives him what she believes is Valium. Jeff later reveals to Elaine that it is actually a hallucinogenic drug he's concocted for his friend. Chaos ensues when Oscar hallucinates that the coffin is moving; he knocks it over, which pushes the body out of the coffin.At the wake, Aaron is approached by an unknown guest, a little person named Frank (Peter Dinklage), who reveals himself to be the secret gay lover of his deceased father. Frank shows Aaron photos as proof and threatens to reveal them to Aaron and Ryan's mother, Cynthia, unless he is paid $30,000. Aaron tells Ryan, who suggest Aaron pay the money because Ryan claims he's buried in debt. When Aaron and Ryan meet with him to pay him, Frank starts to deride Aaron's ability as writer and Aaron refuses to pay. Frank gets angry and tries to leave the room when Ryan attacks him and as a result, both Aaron and Ryan tie Frank up to prevent him from leaving. Norman comes in and sees what happened. He gives Frank what they also believe is Valium to try and calm him down and Jeff tells them it's not Valium.While Jeff and Norman, who are supposed to be watching Frank, get distracted by Uncle Russell, Frank jumps off the coffee table and hits his head. With Aaron, Ryan, Jeff, and Norman believing Frank is dead, they plan to put him in the coffin. While everyone is outside watching the naked Oscar on the roof threatening to jump because he saw Elaine unwillingly get kissed by Derek, Aaron and Ryan put Frank in the coffin.Elaine calms Oscar down by revealing she is pregnant. With everyone back inside, they continue the eulogy. While Aaron awkwardly tries to do his speech, Frank starts banging on the coffin and suddenly emerges from it. The pictures fall out of his pocket and Cynthia sees the pictures, screams, calls Frank a bastard, and starts to attack him. Aaron yells for everyone's attention as he tells them that his father was a good man with flaws like everyone else.At the end, Aaron and Ryan say goodbye to everyone for attending while Ryan gets a ride to the airport by little Martina, who Ryan has been trying to get with all day. Aaron and Michelle are finally alone and going to try and have a baby and also decide to stay in his father's house. Aaron asks where Uncle Russell is and Michelle tells him that she gave him what she believes is Valium to calm him down. In the final scene, Uncle Russell is on the roof naked.
    

Death at a Funeral

Bad Company


            Richard Cooper (Rock) is a married man and father of two who is just plain bored with married life. Not getting any sex from his wife, he resorts to ogling random women on the street to the point he takes lunch late to look at them. When old crush Nikki Tru (Kerry Washington) visits his office to get a reference letter, she becomes obsessed with Cooper and they begin a complicated relationship. In the end, Cooper has to decide between his wife, Brenda (Gena Torres) and Nikki.
    

I Think I Love My Wife

Down to Earth


            Mays Gilliam (Chris Rock) is an alderman of the 9th Ward in the Washington D.C. area. After being fired from his post, Mays is surprisingly chosen as the party candidate for the presidency (after his party's original presidential and vice-presidential nominees die in a plane crash; their two separate planes crashed into each other) to run against sitting vice-president Brian Lewis. Assuming the election was already lost, the party decided to pick a likeable but losing minority candidate to improve their chances of another politician taking the office in the next presidential election. At first, Mays feels he will not be able to succeed as President because he would be representing the entire African-American populace, and does not want to do anything to mess it up. However, Mays begins to rise in the polls after his brother (Bernie Mac) persuades him to speak out for what he believes. He begins to talk about issues such as welfare, money, society, etc. After Lewis runs a series of attack ads including one saying Mays supports Cancer, Mays begins to fight back using what he claimed was "kissing" his opponent (Taking from Bugs Bunny-Elmer Fudd cartoons). In this strategy, Mays hires various individuals such as a KKK member to endorse his opponent, or dubs a videotape of Osama bin Ladin saying he hates America but likes Brian Lewis. This strategy allows Mays to gain more points in the election. As the voting day draws closer, Mays eventually finds out the reason why he was chosen as the party candidate, and fires some disloyal campaign operatives. He debates his opponent in which he manages to win the crowd over by speaking truth of the American life. Mays ends up winning the election and the presidency.
    

Head of State

The Witches


            The all-star comedy cast from Grown Ups returns (with some exciting new additions) for more summertime laughs. Lenny (Adam Sandler) has relocated his family back to the small town where he and his friends grew up. This time around, the grown ups are the ones learning lessons from their kids on a day notoriously full of surprises: the last day of school.
    

Chris Rock

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